But first something that wasn't too awesome. It seems that the people at my idiot bank don't know how to count. When we first bought this house our payment was $975 a month and that included the house insurance and taxes escrowed into the payment. Well last year we got a letter saying they had taken too much out in escrow and that they were going to reduce our payment to $925 plus they sent us a check for almost $1,000. Well this year I get a letter saying that because they dropped our payment down and our taxes went up they fell well short in our escrow and would have to up our payment to $981 so they would have enough for taxes next year. BUT because they chose to reduce our payment last year instead of leaving it where it was we were $1,100 short on our taxes so the bank paid it and on top of the new $981 payment we owe them an additional $84 a month for the next 14 months to pay back the $1,100 they paid for us in taxes because they were MORONS and didn't leave the payment alone in the first place so we would have enough in escrow. Had they left the payment at $975 like it was when we first bought the house we would have maybe been $100-200 short on the taxes and paying that back would have been no big deal. Now because these simpletons can't do their job right our frickin' house payment is $1,065 a month for the next 14 months which is something we were NOT prepared for. I got a fixed rate mortgage so my payment would stay the same not jump around by a couple hundred bucks every year. I am so sick of my bank. They have been screwing us over since we decided to get this house. The thing is I really would like to drop this bank and get a different one but I don't know if I want to go through the hassle of refinancing my mortgage with another bank to do it so we just might be stuck with them, at least with the mortgage.
Ok and that was the non-awesomeness. Now for the awesomeness. I got to thinking the other day when I received my associates degree in the mail that my high school diploma was an honors diploma. How do you get an honors diploma you ask? By passing all portions of the MEAP test with a level I or II score which I did. And why is this important? Because is 1999 the State of Michigan passed a bill/law/whatever stating that students who passed all four portions of the MEAP with a level I or II would be awarded the Michigan Merit Award which is $3,000 in college money. So I figured, hey I met the requirement so why not call the Office of Scholarships and Grants and see if my name was on the list as a recipient of the Michigan Merit Award. I called today and they said yes I was on the list and that this was the last year I could use it and because I had waited so long I would only get half. Then I explained to them that the reason I haven't used it in the past 7 years was because 4.5 of those years I was active duty military. Well that happens to be an exception to the only getting half thing so now all I have to do is send in a copy of my DD214 (thats a my discharge paper to all you civilians) and a copy of my marriage license because my name has obviously changed since high school and call them back in a week and they will certify my award online and send the $3,000 to the school of my choice. So in a week or two they will be sending Baker enough money to cover my expenses for spring quarter. I also get paid two payments of $1,075 for my GI bill between now and the end of spring quarter so that will allow me to set aside the $600 I needed for my trip to Chicago, buy my books for summer and fall quarter and pay ahead on my tuition a bit. This by far has to be the easiest $3,000 I have ever made. So note to all you Michiganders who graduated class of 2000 or after and completely forgot the Michigan Merit Award existed- it might be looking into because you could have a free $,3000 sitting in the state treasury.
A smaller bit of awesomeness- allergy season is starting up and for the last week or so my sinuses have been draining and fluid has been building in my ears which really make them hurt so I've been taking Tylenol Severe Allergy to help it. I have been getting to work wide awake and an hour after I get there I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Well it finally dawned on me today that the barely being able to stay awake things coincided with when the allergy pills were kicking in so now that I know its the damn allergy pills that are putting me to sleep I can get something else that won't do that. I actually fell asleep at work today for about 15 - 20 minutes and luckily no one noticed but falling asleep on the job can get me fired so I'll be switching to some different meds now. Happy day.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Where were you when the world stopped turning?
Recently there has been quite a bit of discussion on the boards for college about 9/11 and if it could have been an inside job. One lady posted a link to a documentary which covers this topic and it does a very good job of making you think that there is a chance that our own government was responsible for 9/11. The documentary is located at www.loosechange911.com. (Beware: this sucker runs for 90 minutes). I honestly don't know what to think about what happened on 9/11. I do know three things:
1) it affected me personally because the US deciding to go after terrorism before it hit us again sent me to a war zone for a year.
2) it made me realize that the US is not the untouchable badass that everyone thought we were
3) I will always remember where I was the day the twin towers came down.
I was on a field exercise in Camp Colburn, Korea. Myself and a few other people from my section were huddled around 1SG's laptop watching the planes hit the towers on CNN. Shortly after our Company Commander called a formation and told us that the United States had been attacked and that we had to pack up immediately and convoy back to Yongsan. Earlier that day I remember thinking how much it sucked to be away from my barracks and stuck on Camp Colbern living in tents and having to eat at a Dining Facility instead of being able to go down and get a burger somewhere. I was only 19 years old at the time and at that point in my life the world was still about me, me, me. 9/11 definitely changed that for me. When I originally joined the Army I thought there would not be a possibility that I would be going to war. I thought I could do my two years which was my original enlistment and get out and go to college with the GI Bill. I know the purpose of joining the Army is to defend the country if need be but when you're that young I think you tend to put things like that in the back of your mind in favor of the things that sound more appealing. When I joined all I could think was I am getting the hell out of Muskegon, I will get to see alot of places I probably would not have been otherwise, and I got a steady paycheck and college money. Going to war was so far down the list it wasn't even a consideration.
I remember that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when I watched the footage of those planes hitting the towers. Its the same horrible feeling I had when we first touched down in Kuwait 15 months later because I had no idea what to expect. I remember wanting to call home and tell my family that I loved them in case I didn't get the chance again. How many people in those towers and on those planes didn't get the chance to get those last I love you's in? It is hard to believe that one day could give someone such a big dose of reality but I think it did for alot of us. I sincerely hope that the documentary is wrong and the government is not responsible for 9/11. I know the documentary is just one opinion and that different video clips and quotes can be spliced together to make any position look favorable but now that seed of doubt is there. I hope some day they find the truth and are able to punish the people that were responsible for the tragedy whether it be Osama Bin Laden or members of our own government. And I hope we never become as complacent as we once were and can avoid suffering through another 9/11.
1) it affected me personally because the US deciding to go after terrorism before it hit us again sent me to a war zone for a year.
2) it made me realize that the US is not the untouchable badass that everyone thought we were
3) I will always remember where I was the day the twin towers came down.
I was on a field exercise in Camp Colburn, Korea. Myself and a few other people from my section were huddled around 1SG's laptop watching the planes hit the towers on CNN. Shortly after our Company Commander called a formation and told us that the United States had been attacked and that we had to pack up immediately and convoy back to Yongsan. Earlier that day I remember thinking how much it sucked to be away from my barracks and stuck on Camp Colbern living in tents and having to eat at a Dining Facility instead of being able to go down and get a burger somewhere. I was only 19 years old at the time and at that point in my life the world was still about me, me, me. 9/11 definitely changed that for me. When I originally joined the Army I thought there would not be a possibility that I would be going to war. I thought I could do my two years which was my original enlistment and get out and go to college with the GI Bill. I know the purpose of joining the Army is to defend the country if need be but when you're that young I think you tend to put things like that in the back of your mind in favor of the things that sound more appealing. When I joined all I could think was I am getting the hell out of Muskegon, I will get to see alot of places I probably would not have been otherwise, and I got a steady paycheck and college money. Going to war was so far down the list it wasn't even a consideration.
I remember that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when I watched the footage of those planes hitting the towers. Its the same horrible feeling I had when we first touched down in Kuwait 15 months later because I had no idea what to expect. I remember wanting to call home and tell my family that I loved them in case I didn't get the chance again. How many people in those towers and on those planes didn't get the chance to get those last I love you's in? It is hard to believe that one day could give someone such a big dose of reality but I think it did for alot of us. I sincerely hope that the documentary is wrong and the government is not responsible for 9/11. I know the documentary is just one opinion and that different video clips and quotes can be spliced together to make any position look favorable but now that seed of doubt is there. I hope some day they find the truth and are able to punish the people that were responsible for the tragedy whether it be Osama Bin Laden or members of our own government. And I hope we never become as complacent as we once were and can avoid suffering through another 9/11.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
So here's the plan...
Been considering two things lately: whether Chris and I should stay in MI or whether we should move after I'm done with school and should I go to graduate school after my bachelors and if so what for and where?
So the consensus between Chris and I is that we both don't want to stay in Michigan for the long term. As I've stated before, I thought this would be a fresh start for me and it turned out not to be. Almost everything that could possibly go wrong for us since moving here has and we both associate our time here with not so pleasant memories which is not a good thing. Add to that that I don't see my friends I do have here and the only family I have here is my dad and my sister, there is really no good reason to stay here for the long term. Now we're pondering things like when should we move. I told Chris I don't want to move until I'm done with my Bachelor's which won't be until September of next year. Since I don't want to move in the winter the earliest we would be moving would be spring of 2009. Most likely the move will be to NY but then we have to sell this house, evaluate our financial situation afterwards and see what kind of living arrangement we can come up with after that. With the housing market in the tank getting rid of this house will not be easy.
Also I mentioned this idea in passing to my dad today (not moving to NY, but just not staying here long term) and it went over like a fart in church. I pointed out that I would have no one here except Shelly after he's gone but still I can tell he's not happy that we might be moving.
The other thing is if I'm going to continue my schooling after this. I want to but not in the Business field. I have been not so seriously researching graduate schools both here and in NY, MA, CT area (basically colleges within 2 hours of Chris' family) and I've found a few I like. I would like to get my master's in history and get into teaching and eventually teach college but on top of my bachelor's I will have to take at least 18 credits (6 classes) of history before most colleges I am looking at will consider me since my BA will not be in history and most of them also have a foreign language requirement. I'm thinking after I'm done with my Bachelor's I will take the required history classes and a few french classes at MCC so I will meet the requirements to get into Grad school. I think this would be best because I can afford MCC without financial aid. Lots to think about. I can't wait until next month's memorial day weekend trip to Chicago where the only thing I'l be thinking about is what tourist attraction to visit and what kind of food I'm in the mood for. I still have a ton of math homework but luckily this instructor is pretty lenient so hopefully I'll get everything I'm missing knocked out tomorrow and be back on track for the remaining 2 weeks. I don't like Trig. It's harder than I thought it would be but I love the geography class. Off to bed I go.
So the consensus between Chris and I is that we both don't want to stay in Michigan for the long term. As I've stated before, I thought this would be a fresh start for me and it turned out not to be. Almost everything that could possibly go wrong for us since moving here has and we both associate our time here with not so pleasant memories which is not a good thing. Add to that that I don't see my friends I do have here and the only family I have here is my dad and my sister, there is really no good reason to stay here for the long term. Now we're pondering things like when should we move. I told Chris I don't want to move until I'm done with my Bachelor's which won't be until September of next year. Since I don't want to move in the winter the earliest we would be moving would be spring of 2009. Most likely the move will be to NY but then we have to sell this house, evaluate our financial situation afterwards and see what kind of living arrangement we can come up with after that. With the housing market in the tank getting rid of this house will not be easy.
Also I mentioned this idea in passing to my dad today (not moving to NY, but just not staying here long term) and it went over like a fart in church. I pointed out that I would have no one here except Shelly after he's gone but still I can tell he's not happy that we might be moving.
The other thing is if I'm going to continue my schooling after this. I want to but not in the Business field. I have been not so seriously researching graduate schools both here and in NY, MA, CT area (basically colleges within 2 hours of Chris' family) and I've found a few I like. I would like to get my master's in history and get into teaching and eventually teach college but on top of my bachelor's I will have to take at least 18 credits (6 classes) of history before most colleges I am looking at will consider me since my BA will not be in history and most of them also have a foreign language requirement. I'm thinking after I'm done with my Bachelor's I will take the required history classes and a few french classes at MCC so I will meet the requirements to get into Grad school. I think this would be best because I can afford MCC without financial aid. Lots to think about. I can't wait until next month's memorial day weekend trip to Chicago where the only thing I'l be thinking about is what tourist attraction to visit and what kind of food I'm in the mood for. I still have a ton of math homework but luckily this instructor is pretty lenient so hopefully I'll get everything I'm missing knocked out tomorrow and be back on track for the remaining 2 weeks. I don't like Trig. It's harder than I thought it would be but I love the geography class. Off to bed I go.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
you win some you lose some
The last couple of days have been interesting. Monday morning I woke up at 6 am with heartburn so bad I seriously considered the idea that I might be having a heart attack. I knew this wasn't the case because of where the pain was coming from but still, it hurt like hell. Turns out this was just the beginning of what would be an unpleasant two days. After I was awakened by the heartburn I had a really bad gas sensation in my chest. This sensation kept making me want to burp (you know, to try to relieve the sensation) but everytime I did the burp tasted and smelled like rotten eggs. I felt so horrible that I had Chris call me in sick to work. I felt crappy all day and slept most of the day. Then that night Chris starts throwing up and continues to do so all night long. He called in sick to work on tuesday. I got up and took Chucky to daycare and then since I had used my ONE sick day I had saved up on monday, I took my happy ass to work tuesday morning. I was there for a whopping two hours, still dealing with the general feeling like crap, rot gut stomach, and rotten egg gas when my boss told me to go home. I wrapped up what I was doing and came home two hours after I got to work. About an hour after I got home it was vomitus maximus which actually ended up being a good thing because as soon as I upchucked I felt alot better and the rotten egg burps went away. I still couldn't eat anything for the rest of the day. The next morning I was feeling fine but unfortunately that little episode left me unable to get out of bed much less do my homework for two and a half days so now I am way behind in one class and took some serious hits with my participation in another. I am still not caught up and if I don't turn everything I am missing in tomorrow I won't get any credit for this week's stuff at all.
Also today my dad was trying to dial his lady friend in Gaylord and called me accidentally instead and we ended up getting into it. We haven't made up yet but we've reconciled enough for him to want to come see Chucky tomorrow. Also because I missed part of tuesday I'm making my time up on saturday which sucks because there goes my weekend. My nephew is spending the night over here tomorrow night and my sister is coming to watch Chucky saturday while I go to work. So I've felt like crap all week and I have five billion tons of homework to do in the next two days. I was planning on doing some of it tonight but as of this moment I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open so that ain't gonna happen.
I did have a few things go right this week. I got a $400 refund check from my tire and wheel protection plan on the car from when I hit the pot hole and had to have the two tires I popped replaced. Chris got a raise so that will help a bit and I had a package from Baker College waiting for me when I got home today. I opened it up and inside was my diploma for my associates degree. One degree down, two more to go. And now I must put on my PJs and go to sleep before I fall asleep here, drool all over my trig book and ruin my chances of reselling it on Amazon when I'm done with it.
Also today my dad was trying to dial his lady friend in Gaylord and called me accidentally instead and we ended up getting into it. We haven't made up yet but we've reconciled enough for him to want to come see Chucky tomorrow. Also because I missed part of tuesday I'm making my time up on saturday which sucks because there goes my weekend. My nephew is spending the night over here tomorrow night and my sister is coming to watch Chucky saturday while I go to work. So I've felt like crap all week and I have five billion tons of homework to do in the next two days. I was planning on doing some of it tonight but as of this moment I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open so that ain't gonna happen.
I did have a few things go right this week. I got a $400 refund check from my tire and wheel protection plan on the car from when I hit the pot hole and had to have the two tires I popped replaced. Chris got a raise so that will help a bit and I had a package from Baker College waiting for me when I got home today. I opened it up and inside was my diploma for my associates degree. One degree down, two more to go. And now I must put on my PJs and go to sleep before I fall asleep here, drool all over my trig book and ruin my chances of reselling it on Amazon when I'm done with it.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Past my bedtime :)
Well its been awhile since I've posted so I figured I might as well. I only got like 5 hrs of sleep last night because I had insomnia and stayed up until 4 am watching the movie Panic Room with Jodie Foster (only saw the last half and it was okay). Then even though Chucky went to bed after 11 pm he got me up at 7:15 am. I took a nap the same time he did for about an hour or so but that didn't help because I am still really tired but plagued by the insomnia again so I'm hoping I wear myself out with this post.
Lots of things weighing on my mind lately, the latest blowout with my dad being at the forefront. Today is Easter and its the first year Chucky colored eggs and my dad missed it. Why? Because of a stupid fight where neither of us will concede that the other was in the wrong. What happened: About 2 weeks ago my dad called and asked if we wanted to go out to dinner and that he would buy because it was a couple of days before we got paid and we were out of cash. I said ok but I would have to ask Chris. He asked me to look up the # to the restaurant and call and see what time they closed. Well in between that conversation my sis and her hubby came over, Chucky got all upset (over what I can't remember). Ten minutes after I talked to my dad the 1st time he calls back. I don't answer the phone because my sis is just leaving and I have a screaming toddler I'm trying to deal with. As soon as he leaves the message on my answering machine I pick up the phone and go to call him back only being the impatient person he is, he is already gone and on his way to my house to see why I didn't answer the phone (not out of concern mind you, but because he knows I'm doing something else and can't wait the whopping five minutes it would take for me to call him back). So 10 minutes later he pulls in my drive way and does he come to the door? No. Instead he sits in my driveway and repeatedly blares his car horn until I come to the door. It took me a minute to get there because of Chucky. Well by time I get to the door I'm really pissed because 1) he never seems to understand that I'm not just going to drop whatever I'm doing to deal with him and couldn't wait the five minutes it would have taken me to call him back and 2) because him sitting in the driveway blaring on the horn was rude and embarassing. I have neighbors who already have proven they don't like us so him doing the ghetto ass horn shit in the driveway was NOT helping. So I was pretty short with him when I got to the door. I tell him I couldn't get ahold of Chris to ask him if he even wanted to go and I couldn't find the phone book to call the restaurant. He asked why I didn't answer my phone and I said it was because I was dealing with Chucky and talking to my sister. Admittedly my tone was not friendly (more annoyed than anything) so the conversation ends and he leaves. Well I have no idea anything is wrong until the next day when I realize I haven't heard from him all day and my phone rang and when I picked it up the person either hung up on me or got cut off so I called his house to see if it was him. He said it sure and the hell wasn't him and that he was sick of me being disrespectful and a few other unpleasant things and that he just wouldn't bother my ass anymore. Well not wanting to get in an even bigger argument with him we hung up and he hasn't called or come over since.
I guess on the outside looking in that argument seems like no big deal but this is a culmination of many episodes like this one since we moved up here in July of 2005. One of the main reasons I moved up here was so my dad in his advancing age and declining health would be able to spend time with his grandson while he still can. My brother and sister are older and already settled elsewhere so I wanted to move back here to be around for dad. Well the episodes like the current one started the very first day we were up here when somehow I became a major asshole for asking my dad for the key to my house back because Chris and I didn't want anyone to have a key to our house but us. He said I embarassed him in front of the family members helping us move in and made him feel like I didn't trust him. My thing with the key was that Chris and I are adults and we want our privacy and since its our house we have the right to not give anyone else a key. Well since he was so upset, even though I felt like I did nothing wrong I swallowed my pride and apologized for upsetting him about the key. Since then about every six months he gets pissed at either me or Chris for something and every time its been either me or Chris that has had to suck it up and apologize so things could go back to "normal". Well this time I don't want to have to be the one to suck it up and apologize because we were both wrong only he refuses to see that he did anything wrong at all which is how it usually is. So as usual I'm the asshole. He goes around telling everyone in the family his version and what an asshole I am and then everyone thinks I'm a big idiot. I have just reached that point where I don't want to have to be put in the position to make nice and walk on eggshells all the time just to get along. Thats not the way I want to live my life. The really horrid thing about the whole situation is that everytime he gets mad at me or chris he stops coming over to see Chucky. I told him the last time that we had an argument that this was NOT okay and that eventually Chucky would reach an age where he would be asking why his grandpa doesn't love him anymore because he stopped coming around. I never want my child to think that when things go bad it might have to do with him. He is always the one that gets the short end of the stick when these arguments happen and I'm SICK OF IT. My son will not be treated that way by anyone. Chucky has seen my dad once since the whole argument happened and he used to see him everyday. He isn't of the age where he can vocalize his feelings about why grandpa stopped coming around but I can tell he wonders about it and he asks about him all the time. I just don't get it. No matter how angry Chucky may make me I will never tell him so long, have a nice life and my dad has said that to me more times than I care to count since I've lived up here. Its my job as Chucky's mother to make sure he doesn't get hurt like that. The whole situation bothers me ALOT because I love my dad and I wish things were not like this and I am honestly at a loss for what to do in this situation. If I swallow my pride and apologize AGAIN I set myself up for the same damn thing to happen six months down the road and if I let things stand the way they are eventually one (or both of us) are going to go to our graves with all this animosity between us and with Chucky not having the chance to know his grandfather and I don't want that. I just have no clue what to do.
Well I intended that whole bit to be alot shorter than it was. In other happenings I went to Wrestlemania on April 1st and it was kind of a disappointment and definitely not what I expected. We only got turned around once on the way there and we made really good time. Parking was ridiculous ($20 to park at Ford Field WTF?) Add to that that the tickets themselves were $740 (we had floor seats 16 rows from the ring) and a soda was $6 (this was like a large from McDonalds). Beer (not that I drink it) was $8 a bottle and the merchandise was just as outrageously priced. Seated in front of us were some of the most ignorant people on the planet, of course. First we had "flag guy" who wore the American flag like a cape (I wanted to slug him in the face just for that because IMHO that is completely disrespectful. The symbol of our nation is not meant to be worn.) Several times during the first match he would untie said flag and hoist it over his head. The flag draped down past his shoulders so everytime he did this he would block the view of about 30 people seated behind him. The guy behind me went and asked him nicely to not do this during the matches because we paid good money for our seats to watch the matches, not to stare at his flag. His excuse was "Well everyone in front of me is holding signs up" Well yes, that may be true MORON but when someone holds a sign up you can still see underneath it. When you hold a flag up that falls past your shoulders the people behind you can't see anything. I didn't pay $300 a seat to watch the American flag. I see it every day, thanks. Next there was "pogo stick bimbo" seated two seats away from flag guy. They probably came together. This girl had a huge sign and during the first two matches she would constantly get up and bounce all over the damn place so everyone behind her couldn't see. (Her dumb ass was trying to get on TV). The people in the area where I was sitting screamed at her to sit down. She ignored us. Then we all screamed sit the fuck down. She ignored us. Then we all screamed sit the fuck down you dumb bitch and she ignored us so we got security to threaten to throw her out if she didn't sit her ass down because at this point me and everyone seated in front of me, in back of me, and along side me was ready to run up there, tear her sign to shreds and kick her teeth down her throat. Finally she sat her happy ass down and we were able to see. The first match was the money in the bank match which included a move gone wrong that took Jeff Hardy and Edge out of the match. Edge was carried out on a stretcher and Jeff Hardy was laying there with a big pool of blood around his head. Mr. Kennedy won that one which I didn't like because I was rooting for Matt Hardy. Next was the Kane vs Great Kahli match which Kane lost (another disapointment because I was rooting for Kane). It irritates me when Kahli wins because he has no wrestling ability at all. He just uses his size to win. The Chris Benoit vs MVP match for the US championship ended with Benoit retaining the title which is good because I'm a big rabid wolverine fan. The women's championship match went as expected with Melina retaining the title. I don't like Melina but I knew she would win because even though I like Ashley, Melina's wrestling ability is far superior and Ashley needs to put on a few lbs. You can see the girl's ribs which is nasty. Someone a couple rows in front of me had a sign that said "Ashley can't wrestle but you should see her box" alluding to her pictorial in April's issue of Playboy (she was the covergirl). Also I thought this was supposed to be a Lumber Jill match but I think one of them only got thrown out of the ring once so the only purpose of the divas outside of the ring was to stand there and look pretty until the match ended and they all had their huge catfight for no other reason than to let the male audience members see as much T & A as possible before moving on to the next match. Battle of the Billionaires was freakin' awesome. It was my first time seeing Stone Cold Steve Austin as he was the guest referee. Of course Vince tried to cheat and conveniently Stone Cold got a Samoan Spike from Umaga allowing Vince to do just that and almost get away with it. With Stone Cold out of commission, Shane McMahon inserted himself as referee, gave Bobby Lashley a coast to coast and it seemed like everything was wrapped up for Vince with a tidy little bow until two things happened: Donald Trump (my new hero) finally had enough of Vince trying to cheat, ran around the ring and clotheslined Vince to the floor and dotted him in the eye a few times and Stone Cold revived just in time to give Shane and Umaga stunners allowed Bobby Lashley (whom I think is an awesome wrestler and a former Army Sergeant) to pick up the win and Vince to get his head shaved. The BEST match of the night was the World Heavyweight Championship match between Batista and the Undertaker. I knew the Undertaker would keep his streak alive but I felt horribly bad for Batista because the crowd was really booing him. I don't think it was a dislike of Batista so much as all of wanting to see the Undertaker win. I really like Batista but seeing the Undertaker win was something special. They had an ECW Originals vs New Breed match which was the least interesting of the night to me because I don't watch ECW although I really like Bobby Lashley (because he's former Army) and Rob Van Dam (because he's from MI). The Originals won which is good because I didn't know who anyone from the new breed was and I knew every one of the originals. The main event match (John Cena vs HBK) was the hugest disappointment for me of all. First of all I was wearing a John Cena shirt to the event even though I was for HBK because the HBK shirt I have was too small and Hot Topic didn't have any HBK shirts so I already felt like a big dork wearing the shirt of the guy I wasn't rooting for. Then Cena somehow ends up putting Shawn in the STFU not once but twice and HBK ended up losing the match which the Detroit crowd was NOT happy about because like me, they were clearly pro-HBK. It was a sucky way to end the night because HBK is my favorite and I really wanted him to win. I think they didn't let him win because Triple H is coming back at Summerslam and Shawn being champ would get in the way of the whole DX angle but COME ON! Compared to other Wrestlemanias this one had to have the least number of title changes of any of them. Other good things about Wrestlemania: the Aretha Franklin opener was cool, seeing the hall of fame class of 07' (Yay for JR and the King!) was also cool and the bonus match with Flair and Carlito before the show started was a nice surprise since I had hoped they would find a way to make Ric part of Wrestlemania. What was not so good besides those things already mentioned: they said that there would be enough giant TVs that you would be able to see no matter where you were sitting. What they failed to mention was that there would be all kinds of equipment hanging above the ring that would almost completely obstruct the view of those giant monitors. If people were standing and we couldn't see the ring we had to turn around and look at the monitor behind us to see what was going on. Another thing: the seats were microscopic. We were packed in there like sardines. My husband took up his seat and half of mine because he's so big. If I am paying $300+ for a seat I expect to have enough room where I am not half in the lap of the stranger next to me (cuz he smelled like he forgot the deodorant) and those bitches were uncomfortable too (hard plastic for 6 hrs....yay.) Also I had thought we would be able to hear what the announcers were saying since we were in the arena but we couldn't hear them at all. The commentary given by the announcers is what adds life to the matches so how hard would it have been to hook up some audio so those of us in the audience could hear the announce teams. What in the hell is the point of introducing the announcers at the beginning of the show if we didn't hear one word from them for the entire thing?! The last bad thing: What was up with the entrances? In past years WWE has pulled out all the stops on the Superstar's entrances for the Wrestlemania matches. Apparently DETROIT is too much of a hole in the wall to spend the cash for some awesome entrances. With the exception of John Cena's entrance of driving into Ford Field in a souped up Mustang and crashing through a glass barrier the entrances were like the everyday crap you see on a live taping of Raw or Smackdown. Compared to past Wrestlemanias like the Cena vs Triple H match where Triple H came up through the floor in a barbarian king costume on a throne and John Cena came in with a gangster theme, the entrances this year sucked big sweaty balls and were a huge disappointment. I expected much much more. So that was Wrestlemania. Battle of the Billionaires and the World Heavyweight Championship match were the only things that made it worthwhile otherwise I would label it a complete loss and a waste of $750. We didn't end up getting back home until almost 4 am and I had to be to work at 9 that morning. Needless to say I was exhausted and trying to catch up on my sleep for the rest of the week.
Completely making up for the lackluster Wrestlemania experience was the fact that Krista was home from Mar 28th - Apr 5th and we got to hang out several times while she was here and catch up. Unfortunately since Muskegon is such a dead town we ended up going out to eat alot and we saw Meet the Robinsons which was a cute but predictable movie. I took her to my fave chinese place in GR and we ended up eating once at Johnny Carinos. On her last full day here, we picked up Kev and went to Famous India where she gave us a crash course in Indian food (looks disgusting, tastes surprisingly good although the dish I brought home to Chris he deemed disgusting and promptly tossed in the trash). I am really glad she came home because I needed to get out of the house and do things with another adult. Its so easy to forget to have "me time" when you're a parent. Also I've come to realize that true friends are the ones where you can go years without seeing them and the next time you do you can pick up where you left off like you just saw them yesterday. I count Krista among a handful of people that are true friends. Also she bought Chucky a book to keep him quiet in Meijers, and she brought me a Klingon keychain from a Trek convention which adds to her awesomeness because she didn't have to do either. Awhile back I was trying to plan a reunion for the old friend group but I didn't get much of response and different plans got in the way but I think I'm going to try this again and shoot for next summer and see if it works this time because I think we would all have a great time together. Also if I can I'm going to try to visit Krista in Philly before the end of the year so I won't have to wait another 2 yrs to see her and so I can finally meet Sarah and the cats and also because I've never been to Philly. Hopefully I can work something out where I can do this.
Obviously I shouldn't go so long between posts so they don't get this long! I started two new classes last thursday-Trigonometry and Western Geography both of which I like so far. I got a little behind in the trig class with everything going on but I'll be caught up and hopefully get a little bit ahead tomorrow (or actually later today since it is 2:30 am on Easter Sunday. We went out to eat at Applebees tonight since I got my $400 refund for my car repairs (which is half of what I paid considering the fees I paid for the rental car SUCK). Then we came home and helped Chucky color Easter Eggs for the first time. He did a really good job. I can't wait to hide them all for him after he wakes up and can't wait to see his face when he finds his Easter basket. I took a bunch of pics of him coloring eggs which I should be sending out tomorrow sometime. Well it is late and this is by far the longest post I have EVER written so I think I'm going to go to bed now. Happy Easter to all who happen across this blog.
Lots of things weighing on my mind lately, the latest blowout with my dad being at the forefront. Today is Easter and its the first year Chucky colored eggs and my dad missed it. Why? Because of a stupid fight where neither of us will concede that the other was in the wrong. What happened: About 2 weeks ago my dad called and asked if we wanted to go out to dinner and that he would buy because it was a couple of days before we got paid and we were out of cash. I said ok but I would have to ask Chris. He asked me to look up the # to the restaurant and call and see what time they closed. Well in between that conversation my sis and her hubby came over, Chucky got all upset (over what I can't remember). Ten minutes after I talked to my dad the 1st time he calls back. I don't answer the phone because my sis is just leaving and I have a screaming toddler I'm trying to deal with. As soon as he leaves the message on my answering machine I pick up the phone and go to call him back only being the impatient person he is, he is already gone and on his way to my house to see why I didn't answer the phone (not out of concern mind you, but because he knows I'm doing something else and can't wait the whopping five minutes it would take for me to call him back). So 10 minutes later he pulls in my drive way and does he come to the door? No. Instead he sits in my driveway and repeatedly blares his car horn until I come to the door. It took me a minute to get there because of Chucky. Well by time I get to the door I'm really pissed because 1) he never seems to understand that I'm not just going to drop whatever I'm doing to deal with him and couldn't wait the five minutes it would have taken me to call him back and 2) because him sitting in the driveway blaring on the horn was rude and embarassing. I have neighbors who already have proven they don't like us so him doing the ghetto ass horn shit in the driveway was NOT helping. So I was pretty short with him when I got to the door. I tell him I couldn't get ahold of Chris to ask him if he even wanted to go and I couldn't find the phone book to call the restaurant. He asked why I didn't answer my phone and I said it was because I was dealing with Chucky and talking to my sister. Admittedly my tone was not friendly (more annoyed than anything) so the conversation ends and he leaves. Well I have no idea anything is wrong until the next day when I realize I haven't heard from him all day and my phone rang and when I picked it up the person either hung up on me or got cut off so I called his house to see if it was him. He said it sure and the hell wasn't him and that he was sick of me being disrespectful and a few other unpleasant things and that he just wouldn't bother my ass anymore. Well not wanting to get in an even bigger argument with him we hung up and he hasn't called or come over since.
I guess on the outside looking in that argument seems like no big deal but this is a culmination of many episodes like this one since we moved up here in July of 2005. One of the main reasons I moved up here was so my dad in his advancing age and declining health would be able to spend time with his grandson while he still can. My brother and sister are older and already settled elsewhere so I wanted to move back here to be around for dad. Well the episodes like the current one started the very first day we were up here when somehow I became a major asshole for asking my dad for the key to my house back because Chris and I didn't want anyone to have a key to our house but us. He said I embarassed him in front of the family members helping us move in and made him feel like I didn't trust him. My thing with the key was that Chris and I are adults and we want our privacy and since its our house we have the right to not give anyone else a key. Well since he was so upset, even though I felt like I did nothing wrong I swallowed my pride and apologized for upsetting him about the key. Since then about every six months he gets pissed at either me or Chris for something and every time its been either me or Chris that has had to suck it up and apologize so things could go back to "normal". Well this time I don't want to have to be the one to suck it up and apologize because we were both wrong only he refuses to see that he did anything wrong at all which is how it usually is. So as usual I'm the asshole. He goes around telling everyone in the family his version and what an asshole I am and then everyone thinks I'm a big idiot. I have just reached that point where I don't want to have to be put in the position to make nice and walk on eggshells all the time just to get along. Thats not the way I want to live my life. The really horrid thing about the whole situation is that everytime he gets mad at me or chris he stops coming over to see Chucky. I told him the last time that we had an argument that this was NOT okay and that eventually Chucky would reach an age where he would be asking why his grandpa doesn't love him anymore because he stopped coming around. I never want my child to think that when things go bad it might have to do with him. He is always the one that gets the short end of the stick when these arguments happen and I'm SICK OF IT. My son will not be treated that way by anyone. Chucky has seen my dad once since the whole argument happened and he used to see him everyday. He isn't of the age where he can vocalize his feelings about why grandpa stopped coming around but I can tell he wonders about it and he asks about him all the time. I just don't get it. No matter how angry Chucky may make me I will never tell him so long, have a nice life and my dad has said that to me more times than I care to count since I've lived up here. Its my job as Chucky's mother to make sure he doesn't get hurt like that. The whole situation bothers me ALOT because I love my dad and I wish things were not like this and I am honestly at a loss for what to do in this situation. If I swallow my pride and apologize AGAIN I set myself up for the same damn thing to happen six months down the road and if I let things stand the way they are eventually one (or both of us) are going to go to our graves with all this animosity between us and with Chucky not having the chance to know his grandfather and I don't want that. I just have no clue what to do.
Well I intended that whole bit to be alot shorter than it was. In other happenings I went to Wrestlemania on April 1st and it was kind of a disappointment and definitely not what I expected. We only got turned around once on the way there and we made really good time. Parking was ridiculous ($20 to park at Ford Field WTF?) Add to that that the tickets themselves were $740 (we had floor seats 16 rows from the ring) and a soda was $6 (this was like a large from McDonalds). Beer (not that I drink it) was $8 a bottle and the merchandise was just as outrageously priced. Seated in front of us were some of the most ignorant people on the planet, of course. First we had "flag guy" who wore the American flag like a cape (I wanted to slug him in the face just for that because IMHO that is completely disrespectful. The symbol of our nation is not meant to be worn.) Several times during the first match he would untie said flag and hoist it over his head. The flag draped down past his shoulders so everytime he did this he would block the view of about 30 people seated behind him. The guy behind me went and asked him nicely to not do this during the matches because we paid good money for our seats to watch the matches, not to stare at his flag. His excuse was "Well everyone in front of me is holding signs up" Well yes, that may be true MORON but when someone holds a sign up you can still see underneath it. When you hold a flag up that falls past your shoulders the people behind you can't see anything. I didn't pay $300 a seat to watch the American flag. I see it every day, thanks. Next there was "pogo stick bimbo" seated two seats away from flag guy. They probably came together. This girl had a huge sign and during the first two matches she would constantly get up and bounce all over the damn place so everyone behind her couldn't see. (Her dumb ass was trying to get on TV). The people in the area where I was sitting screamed at her to sit down. She ignored us. Then we all screamed sit the fuck down. She ignored us. Then we all screamed sit the fuck down you dumb bitch and she ignored us so we got security to threaten to throw her out if she didn't sit her ass down because at this point me and everyone seated in front of me, in back of me, and along side me was ready to run up there, tear her sign to shreds and kick her teeth down her throat. Finally she sat her happy ass down and we were able to see. The first match was the money in the bank match which included a move gone wrong that took Jeff Hardy and Edge out of the match. Edge was carried out on a stretcher and Jeff Hardy was laying there with a big pool of blood around his head. Mr. Kennedy won that one which I didn't like because I was rooting for Matt Hardy. Next was the Kane vs Great Kahli match which Kane lost (another disapointment because I was rooting for Kane). It irritates me when Kahli wins because he has no wrestling ability at all. He just uses his size to win. The Chris Benoit vs MVP match for the US championship ended with Benoit retaining the title which is good because I'm a big rabid wolverine fan. The women's championship match went as expected with Melina retaining the title. I don't like Melina but I knew she would win because even though I like Ashley, Melina's wrestling ability is far superior and Ashley needs to put on a few lbs. You can see the girl's ribs which is nasty. Someone a couple rows in front of me had a sign that said "Ashley can't wrestle but you should see her box" alluding to her pictorial in April's issue of Playboy (she was the covergirl). Also I thought this was supposed to be a Lumber Jill match but I think one of them only got thrown out of the ring once so the only purpose of the divas outside of the ring was to stand there and look pretty until the match ended and they all had their huge catfight for no other reason than to let the male audience members see as much T & A as possible before moving on to the next match. Battle of the Billionaires was freakin' awesome. It was my first time seeing Stone Cold Steve Austin as he was the guest referee. Of course Vince tried to cheat and conveniently Stone Cold got a Samoan Spike from Umaga allowing Vince to do just that and almost get away with it. With Stone Cold out of commission, Shane McMahon inserted himself as referee, gave Bobby Lashley a coast to coast and it seemed like everything was wrapped up for Vince with a tidy little bow until two things happened: Donald Trump (my new hero) finally had enough of Vince trying to cheat, ran around the ring and clotheslined Vince to the floor and dotted him in the eye a few times and Stone Cold revived just in time to give Shane and Umaga stunners allowed Bobby Lashley (whom I think is an awesome wrestler and a former Army Sergeant) to pick up the win and Vince to get his head shaved. The BEST match of the night was the World Heavyweight Championship match between Batista and the Undertaker. I knew the Undertaker would keep his streak alive but I felt horribly bad for Batista because the crowd was really booing him. I don't think it was a dislike of Batista so much as all of wanting to see the Undertaker win. I really like Batista but seeing the Undertaker win was something special. They had an ECW Originals vs New Breed match which was the least interesting of the night to me because I don't watch ECW although I really like Bobby Lashley (because he's former Army) and Rob Van Dam (because he's from MI). The Originals won which is good because I didn't know who anyone from the new breed was and I knew every one of the originals. The main event match (John Cena vs HBK) was the hugest disappointment for me of all. First of all I was wearing a John Cena shirt to the event even though I was for HBK because the HBK shirt I have was too small and Hot Topic didn't have any HBK shirts so I already felt like a big dork wearing the shirt of the guy I wasn't rooting for. Then Cena somehow ends up putting Shawn in the STFU not once but twice and HBK ended up losing the match which the Detroit crowd was NOT happy about because like me, they were clearly pro-HBK. It was a sucky way to end the night because HBK is my favorite and I really wanted him to win. I think they didn't let him win because Triple H is coming back at Summerslam and Shawn being champ would get in the way of the whole DX angle but COME ON! Compared to other Wrestlemanias this one had to have the least number of title changes of any of them. Other good things about Wrestlemania: the Aretha Franklin opener was cool, seeing the hall of fame class of 07' (Yay for JR and the King!) was also cool and the bonus match with Flair and Carlito before the show started was a nice surprise since I had hoped they would find a way to make Ric part of Wrestlemania. What was not so good besides those things already mentioned: they said that there would be enough giant TVs that you would be able to see no matter where you were sitting. What they failed to mention was that there would be all kinds of equipment hanging above the ring that would almost completely obstruct the view of those giant monitors. If people were standing and we couldn't see the ring we had to turn around and look at the monitor behind us to see what was going on. Another thing: the seats were microscopic. We were packed in there like sardines. My husband took up his seat and half of mine because he's so big. If I am paying $300+ for a seat I expect to have enough room where I am not half in the lap of the stranger next to me (cuz he smelled like he forgot the deodorant) and those bitches were uncomfortable too (hard plastic for 6 hrs....yay.) Also I had thought we would be able to hear what the announcers were saying since we were in the arena but we couldn't hear them at all. The commentary given by the announcers is what adds life to the matches so how hard would it have been to hook up some audio so those of us in the audience could hear the announce teams. What in the hell is the point of introducing the announcers at the beginning of the show if we didn't hear one word from them for the entire thing?! The last bad thing: What was up with the entrances? In past years WWE has pulled out all the stops on the Superstar's entrances for the Wrestlemania matches. Apparently DETROIT is too much of a hole in the wall to spend the cash for some awesome entrances. With the exception of John Cena's entrance of driving into Ford Field in a souped up Mustang and crashing through a glass barrier the entrances were like the everyday crap you see on a live taping of Raw or Smackdown. Compared to past Wrestlemanias like the Cena vs Triple H match where Triple H came up through the floor in a barbarian king costume on a throne and John Cena came in with a gangster theme, the entrances this year sucked big sweaty balls and were a huge disappointment. I expected much much more. So that was Wrestlemania. Battle of the Billionaires and the World Heavyweight Championship match were the only things that made it worthwhile otherwise I would label it a complete loss and a waste of $750. We didn't end up getting back home until almost 4 am and I had to be to work at 9 that morning. Needless to say I was exhausted and trying to catch up on my sleep for the rest of the week.
Completely making up for the lackluster Wrestlemania experience was the fact that Krista was home from Mar 28th - Apr 5th and we got to hang out several times while she was here and catch up. Unfortunately since Muskegon is such a dead town we ended up going out to eat alot and we saw Meet the Robinsons which was a cute but predictable movie. I took her to my fave chinese place in GR and we ended up eating once at Johnny Carinos. On her last full day here, we picked up Kev and went to Famous India where she gave us a crash course in Indian food (looks disgusting, tastes surprisingly good although the dish I brought home to Chris he deemed disgusting and promptly tossed in the trash). I am really glad she came home because I needed to get out of the house and do things with another adult. Its so easy to forget to have "me time" when you're a parent. Also I've come to realize that true friends are the ones where you can go years without seeing them and the next time you do you can pick up where you left off like you just saw them yesterday. I count Krista among a handful of people that are true friends. Also she bought Chucky a book to keep him quiet in Meijers, and she brought me a Klingon keychain from a Trek convention which adds to her awesomeness because she didn't have to do either. Awhile back I was trying to plan a reunion for the old friend group but I didn't get much of response and different plans got in the way but I think I'm going to try this again and shoot for next summer and see if it works this time because I think we would all have a great time together. Also if I can I'm going to try to visit Krista in Philly before the end of the year so I won't have to wait another 2 yrs to see her and so I can finally meet Sarah and the cats and also because I've never been to Philly. Hopefully I can work something out where I can do this.
Obviously I shouldn't go so long between posts so they don't get this long! I started two new classes last thursday-Trigonometry and Western Geography both of which I like so far. I got a little behind in the trig class with everything going on but I'll be caught up and hopefully get a little bit ahead tomorrow (or actually later today since it is 2:30 am on Easter Sunday. We went out to eat at Applebees tonight since I got my $400 refund for my car repairs (which is half of what I paid considering the fees I paid for the rental car SUCK). Then we came home and helped Chucky color Easter Eggs for the first time. He did a really good job. I can't wait to hide them all for him after he wakes up and can't wait to see his face when he finds his Easter basket. I took a bunch of pics of him coloring eggs which I should be sending out tomorrow sometime. Well it is late and this is by far the longest post I have EVER written so I think I'm going to go to bed now. Happy Easter to all who happen across this blog.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
A short list
I give you the top 5 movies you should watch if you should ever forget just how great your friends are:
1. Beaches
2. Now and Then
3. Thelma and Louise
4. Fried Green Tomatoes
5. The Adventures of Milo and Otis
Because I said so, so there!
1. Beaches
2. Now and Then
3. Thelma and Louise
4. Fried Green Tomatoes
5. The Adventures of Milo and Otis
Because I said so, so there!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Schedules
I've been thinking lately and I think what will help me tremendously with several problems is if I put myself on a schedule. I think part of the reason I feel like I'm getting clobbered by life repeatedly is because it seems everything is coming at me all at once. Maybe if I inserted some semblance of order into my life it wouldn't seem all that bad. So far I'm thinking 0700 will be the start of my day except on weekends. 0700-0745 will be my treadmill time and I will run/walk on that sucker a minimum 5 days a week until I am 40 lbs lighter and wearing between a 6 and an 8 (not an unrealistic goal since I was a size 3 before pregnancy/weight gain). That will take care of several health related issues right there. 0745-0815 will be get ready for work time. 0815-0845 will be my commute to work. 0845-1645 will be work (can't really schedule this out since my level of work to do and business varies daily). 1645 - 1715 my commute to the daycare to pick up Chucky. 1715 - 2100 will be Chucky/Chris time. So I don't have to stress about dinner I think I'm going to start premaking three meals on sunday and we can have them monday - wednesday. Thursday and friday chris can take care of. 2100 - midnight will be homework time and after that bed. The schedule seems simple enough but the hard part will be sticking to it no matter what becuase sometimes I don't get the help I need from Chris and that throws everything off.
I think I am going to do schedules for the weekend too. I can sit down with Chris and we can figure out what we both need to do and schedule it in to the weekend. I have always been one of those people that keeps my life ordered with post-its and to do lists and I much prefer order to the chaos I have now.
I have been feeling alot better since the last post. Also I have Wrestlemania to go to on April 1st with Chris and a family trip to Chicago planned on memorial day weekend. Chris and Chucky are going to NY either the first or last week of June. I'm thinking I need a break. Krista suggested that I need to be a little selfish and take care of myself for once and I think a step in that direction would be just going somewhere by myself for a three or four day weekend (maybe 4th of July weekend?) and just let Chris hold down the fort while I go relax somewhere. Problem: I have no idea where I would want to go and if I would be willing or we could afford to pay for me to go somewhere for three nights. Suggestions anyone? Well guess I better get back to the homework. I am actually ahead in my algebra class for once and I am plugging away at the test but am stuck on a problem so I thought I'd take a break and make a post. Back to work now though....
I think I am going to do schedules for the weekend too. I can sit down with Chris and we can figure out what we both need to do and schedule it in to the weekend. I have always been one of those people that keeps my life ordered with post-its and to do lists and I much prefer order to the chaos I have now.
I have been feeling alot better since the last post. Also I have Wrestlemania to go to on April 1st with Chris and a family trip to Chicago planned on memorial day weekend. Chris and Chucky are going to NY either the first or last week of June. I'm thinking I need a break. Krista suggested that I need to be a little selfish and take care of myself for once and I think a step in that direction would be just going somewhere by myself for a three or four day weekend (maybe 4th of July weekend?) and just let Chris hold down the fort while I go relax somewhere. Problem: I have no idea where I would want to go and if I would be willing or we could afford to pay for me to go somewhere for three nights. Suggestions anyone? Well guess I better get back to the homework. I am actually ahead in my algebra class for once and I am plugging away at the test but am stuck on a problem so I thought I'd take a break and make a post. Back to work now though....
Monday, March 12, 2007
Worst Luck
Whatever happened to the luck of the irish? I'm irish dammit and I've got to be the unluckiest person to walk the face of the planet (well maybe not that bad, but still). I am really depressed about the way things are going with my classes. Right now I am earning a B in both of them. The intermediate algebra class is whats really bothering me because I have a very strict teacher that really is not willing to work with her students at all. Last week I had the 10 point project due that I worked on for about 3 hours but since I forgot to post it to both locations and posted it to just the one I lost credit on the whole thing. I got sick two days later and missed the math test for that week so there goes 20 points for that week. Illness is not something I can control. My head was pounding so bad I couldn't even stay awake. I try to get all my stuff done as early as possible but I work full time and I have a two year old and a household to take care of so its not easy to get everything done early in case something happens the day an assignment is due even though I try.
This week was even worse than last week. My son got sick with a fever on friday. When I took his temperature friday is it was 101.7. I gave him tylenol which helped a little and the daycare was giving him motrin which seemed to help a little but as soon as they wore off the fever was back with a vengeance. When I woke up saturday morning I took his temperature because he felt really hot and he had a temperature of 103.2 so I had to take him into the emergency room. They were really concerned about how high his temperature was so they wanted to take a urine sample and do chest x-rays. Well the chest x-rays went fine but he couldn't "do pee pee in the potty" for the urine sample so they had to take his urine with a catheter which was very painful for him. He was screaming the whole time they were doing it and I felt very bad for him. They said he had a viral infection and sent us home. That night I decided I was going to make him brownies to make him feel better and I started to mix everything but realized that chris had used the last of the oil so I had to go to the store to go get some. Well on my way back from the store as luck would have it I hit one of those famous MASSIVE michigan potholes and popped both of my tires on the passenger side of my car. Being that it was late saturday night and nothing was open then or all day sunday, and because my car is new and has an uncommon kind of tire, we couldn't find the tires we needed to replace the ones that popped so now I have to wait til tomorrow and take it to the dealership and have my dad get up at the ass crack of dawn to follow me to the dealership to make sure I make it there on the two spare tires we have on the car and then he gets the joy of driving me all the way to Grand Rapids so I don't miss work and my ass doesn't get fired from my job.
So in the last two weeks my grades have taken a nose dive for reasons mostly out of my control, I got sick, my son got sick, and I damaged my car costing us to spend even more money we couldn't afford to. I'm starting to wonder if it can get any worse. What next? Am I going to step inadvertently walk in front of a bus tomorrow or something?
I like to think that under normal circumstances I am a glass half full person but life is just kicking the crap out of me lately and I have this feeling that I am on the verge of a massive meltdown. I almost had one today. I have no outlet for the stress I am under, nowhere for the anger to go and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have had problems with depression since I got back from Iraq. I actually had the thought today that I don't care if I get better anymore. As long as I am functioning well enough to be a good mother to my son thats all I care about. The rational side of me tells me that hell no, that is not good enough because I have always been the person that wants to be good at everything but the emotional side of me is waving the white flag right now. I am scared to go see the VA for help because I'm scared if I do they'll want to put me on medication and I don't want to be on any medication. Even if I did agree to being on medication, I suck at remembering to take it anyway which is why after the pregnancy I asked for the Depo shot as opposed to the pill because with that you only have to remember to do it every three months and the pill is daily and I knew I would forget. Of course that was really stupid in hindsight because the Depo shot is 50% of the reason that I'm fat (the other 50% being that I can't find time to exercise like I should).
I just hope things get better but I've spent years now hoping things will get better and the optimistic side of me is dying a little more everytime something else goes wrong. My last couple of posts have been pretty negative lately. I'll have to remember next time to post something lighter and isn't so soul suckingly depressing. Someone remind me to do this.
This week was even worse than last week. My son got sick with a fever on friday. When I took his temperature friday is it was 101.7. I gave him tylenol which helped a little and the daycare was giving him motrin which seemed to help a little but as soon as they wore off the fever was back with a vengeance. When I woke up saturday morning I took his temperature because he felt really hot and he had a temperature of 103.2 so I had to take him into the emergency room. They were really concerned about how high his temperature was so they wanted to take a urine sample and do chest x-rays. Well the chest x-rays went fine but he couldn't "do pee pee in the potty" for the urine sample so they had to take his urine with a catheter which was very painful for him. He was screaming the whole time they were doing it and I felt very bad for him. They said he had a viral infection and sent us home. That night I decided I was going to make him brownies to make him feel better and I started to mix everything but realized that chris had used the last of the oil so I had to go to the store to go get some. Well on my way back from the store as luck would have it I hit one of those famous MASSIVE michigan potholes and popped both of my tires on the passenger side of my car. Being that it was late saturday night and nothing was open then or all day sunday, and because my car is new and has an uncommon kind of tire, we couldn't find the tires we needed to replace the ones that popped so now I have to wait til tomorrow and take it to the dealership and have my dad get up at the ass crack of dawn to follow me to the dealership to make sure I make it there on the two spare tires we have on the car and then he gets the joy of driving me all the way to Grand Rapids so I don't miss work and my ass doesn't get fired from my job.
So in the last two weeks my grades have taken a nose dive for reasons mostly out of my control, I got sick, my son got sick, and I damaged my car costing us to spend even more money we couldn't afford to. I'm starting to wonder if it can get any worse. What next? Am I going to step inadvertently walk in front of a bus tomorrow or something?
I like to think that under normal circumstances I am a glass half full person but life is just kicking the crap out of me lately and I have this feeling that I am on the verge of a massive meltdown. I almost had one today. I have no outlet for the stress I am under, nowhere for the anger to go and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have had problems with depression since I got back from Iraq. I actually had the thought today that I don't care if I get better anymore. As long as I am functioning well enough to be a good mother to my son thats all I care about. The rational side of me tells me that hell no, that is not good enough because I have always been the person that wants to be good at everything but the emotional side of me is waving the white flag right now. I am scared to go see the VA for help because I'm scared if I do they'll want to put me on medication and I don't want to be on any medication. Even if I did agree to being on medication, I suck at remembering to take it anyway which is why after the pregnancy I asked for the Depo shot as opposed to the pill because with that you only have to remember to do it every three months and the pill is daily and I knew I would forget. Of course that was really stupid in hindsight because the Depo shot is 50% of the reason that I'm fat (the other 50% being that I can't find time to exercise like I should).
I just hope things get better but I've spent years now hoping things will get better and the optimistic side of me is dying a little more everytime something else goes wrong. My last couple of posts have been pretty negative lately. I'll have to remember next time to post something lighter and isn't so soul suckingly depressing. Someone remind me to do this.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
it's beena long day, always ain't that right......
First I'd like to start this post by saying that I thought this pic of Krista rocking out to White and Nerdy with the Spock picture was freakin' awesome. That made me smile in a week that has been less than stellar. It just has not been a good week, not that anything has gone majorly wrong but its just a bunch of little things combined that have made for a pretty craptacular week.
Saturday Chris and I took Chucky to his first circus (that would be the Shrine Circus that comes to the LC Walker Arena in Muskegon every year because I am too damn cheap to pay $28 per ticket to go see Barnum & Bailey's). The show itself was alright and Chucky really liked it although some of the noise scared him. I took us all to the circus on the money that was sent to me for my birthday figuring I'd be nice and it would only be $21 so no big deal. Well we decided to let Chucky ride a few of the animals there which you needed tickets for. I figured no big deal, we would buy him a couple of tickets because it couldn't be that much. Well I made the mistake of handing Chris all of my birthday money and he went to buy the tickets. Well he didn't bother to ask where the money came from so he bought Chucky 4 tix at $6 each out of MY BIRTHDAY $$$. When I told him he just spent half the money I got for my birthday he goes "oh i thought you pulled that from the account" I'm thinking fool, when do we ever have money like that in our bank account to just pull out? So my birthday present this year was taking Chucky to a mediocre circus. Now it would have been a great family outing except for one thing (and if you don't consider yourself a patriot, then maybe this is where you should stop reading..). Before the show started they had us all get up, face the flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance. While everyone is reciting the pledge the stupid bastard behind me, instead of saying the correct words is making comments to the effect of "and to the republic which doesn't like black men, one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all black men" WTF?? Now if there is one way to piss me off to the point where I will turn around and punch you in your ugly ass face, its to be disrespectful while singing the National Anthem or saying the Pledge. Freedom of speech! you say. He should be able to say whatever he wants! Um no he shouldn't. I am a former Soldier of the United States Army. I went to war for this country with some good people who unfortunately did not make it back for your right to sit there and say some ignorant ass shit like you did while saying the pledge so you could impress your girlfriend who looked like someone took the biggest pig on the farm they could find, the ghetto-est creature they could find, and the cream of the trailer park trash crop and fused them together to make her. I hope it was worth it to you to completely disrespect all of the people who have fought for this country in the past and all of the people that are over there with their asses on the line now so you could get a few laughs out of swamp thing. And by the way, thanks for letting your bratty ass little crumbsnatcher kick my seat for the entire show. So with that being said, let everyone be forewarned that you do not want to sit next to me at a football game, circus, wrestling show or anywhere else where they will play the National Anthem or recite the Pledge and say anything but the words that are supposed to be said because I am the crazy ass bitch with PTSD from the war that will stalk your ass and run you down in the parking lot for that type of disrespect. This goes for all flag burners, people who won't shut the fuck up when the National Anthem is being played and the people who won't remove their hats either. This is America baby. You say its your right to say what you want when it comes to the flag and the pledge and the anthem? I say its my right to knock your teeth down your throat in response. You don't like that then move your ass to Canada. Okay I'm done now.
On to the rest of my week. I'm still really tired and I had planned on going to sleep early tonight but it just didn't happen as usual. Chris did not get home tonight until 9pm and Chucky fell asleep waiting for him to get home. I have been doing relatively well in my math class until monday when a project that was worth 10 pts was due and I had it done in time but you're required to post it to two different places and I only posted it to one so I get no points even though I did all the work and I can prove that I did have it done on time. The teacher I have for this class is good but she is a REALLY strict grader which makes the class more difficult. I emailed her and explained my mistake and she said she couldn't give me any points on it because it wouldn't be fair to other students who had made the same mistake. So apparently we're not allowed stupid human errors every once in awhile. On top of that we're moving from the office we currently occupy at work to the one right next door which is bigger. They have been getting the new office ready for us for the past two days and they have been painting in there. Since my desk is right by the door of our current office I have been smelling paint fumes and coming home with monster headaches and a sour stomach for the past two days from the smell. They won't open doors or windows to ventilate because it is balls cold outside and would make the whole building cold. Because of said monstrous headache yesterday I came home yesterday feeling like crap, fell asleep to try to get rid of the headache, didn't wake up til right before 11 pm and didn't have time to finish my math test and turn it in. Since she accepts no late assignments at all I also missed the 10 points for the test this week. So I went from an A in the class to a B if I'm lucky by not getting credit for the one assignment and missing the other one. At least the other class is going okay. I think I'll end up with an A- in that one. I just have to come up with my paper topic in the next couple of days and I have no idea what I want to write a seven page paper on.
Also adding to my week of misery was the fact that my husband forgot to put our pug in his cage before he went to work yesterday so the dumb little mutt had free run of the house until my dad got there to let him out 5 hours later and he peed and pooped all over our house. I didn't find the last pile until I went to put Chucky to bed that night and stepped in it WITH BARE FEET.
Lately too what has added to my feeling down is that sometimes I get the feeling that concerning our life here I'm in the fight alone because I don't get the support I need from Chris. He works full time and I work full time. Granted I work set hours and he works shitty hours but when he gets home its a fight to the death to get him to help me with Chucky. He argues me to death about how he shouldn't have to wash him up when he's in the tub or change his diaper or put him to bed because he just got home and wants to relax. I point out to him that when I got home I didn't get to relax because I had to take care of Chucky. He also argues with me CONSTANTLY about cleaning the house. Every day he says he'll clean the kitchen up before he leaves in the morning and every night when I get home the kitchen is still in a huge mess and the rest of the house is exactly like it was when I left. He thinks cleaning it up really good one day on the weekend is good enough. I can't stand having a dirty house. He argues with me over whose turn it is to make dinner. We're supposed to be taking turns but there are some nights where he just goes "I'm not making dinner" and he expects me to make Chucky's dinner and find something for myself. Also he has no involvement in paying our bills. I take care of all of our finances. I have often thought of handing the financial reigns over to him just so he can see how stressful it is to have to budget and pay the bills but if I did this even for a short period I have this fear that our bills would go unpaid and we would be in financial ruin in no time. Its never a good feeling to feel unsupported by your partner. When we are not fighting and we are getting along its great but sometimes I just get so damn sick of feeling like the relationship is lopsided and the pressure is on me. Maybe its the depression and PTSD thats making me feel this way, I don't know but I hate it and I wish we could change it but it takes two people to make a change and I think both of us are too stubborn to budge.
Well if this post hasn't been all over the place. I have even more to write but I also need to go to bed. You know, that work thing in the morning......
Saturday Chris and I took Chucky to his first circus (that would be the Shrine Circus that comes to the LC Walker Arena in Muskegon every year because I am too damn cheap to pay $28 per ticket to go see Barnum & Bailey's). The show itself was alright and Chucky really liked it although some of the noise scared him. I took us all to the circus on the money that was sent to me for my birthday figuring I'd be nice and it would only be $21 so no big deal. Well we decided to let Chucky ride a few of the animals there which you needed tickets for. I figured no big deal, we would buy him a couple of tickets because it couldn't be that much. Well I made the mistake of handing Chris all of my birthday money and he went to buy the tickets. Well he didn't bother to ask where the money came from so he bought Chucky 4 tix at $6 each out of MY BIRTHDAY $$$. When I told him he just spent half the money I got for my birthday he goes "oh i thought you pulled that from the account" I'm thinking fool, when do we ever have money like that in our bank account to just pull out? So my birthday present this year was taking Chucky to a mediocre circus. Now it would have been a great family outing except for one thing (and if you don't consider yourself a patriot, then maybe this is where you should stop reading..). Before the show started they had us all get up, face the flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance. While everyone is reciting the pledge the stupid bastard behind me, instead of saying the correct words is making comments to the effect of "and to the republic which doesn't like black men, one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all black men" WTF?? Now if there is one way to piss me off to the point where I will turn around and punch you in your ugly ass face, its to be disrespectful while singing the National Anthem or saying the Pledge. Freedom of speech! you say. He should be able to say whatever he wants! Um no he shouldn't. I am a former Soldier of the United States Army. I went to war for this country with some good people who unfortunately did not make it back for your right to sit there and say some ignorant ass shit like you did while saying the pledge so you could impress your girlfriend who looked like someone took the biggest pig on the farm they could find, the ghetto-est creature they could find, and the cream of the trailer park trash crop and fused them together to make her. I hope it was worth it to you to completely disrespect all of the people who have fought for this country in the past and all of the people that are over there with their asses on the line now so you could get a few laughs out of swamp thing. And by the way, thanks for letting your bratty ass little crumbsnatcher kick my seat for the entire show. So with that being said, let everyone be forewarned that you do not want to sit next to me at a football game, circus, wrestling show or anywhere else where they will play the National Anthem or recite the Pledge and say anything but the words that are supposed to be said because I am the crazy ass bitch with PTSD from the war that will stalk your ass and run you down in the parking lot for that type of disrespect. This goes for all flag burners, people who won't shut the fuck up when the National Anthem is being played and the people who won't remove their hats either. This is America baby. You say its your right to say what you want when it comes to the flag and the pledge and the anthem? I say its my right to knock your teeth down your throat in response. You don't like that then move your ass to Canada. Okay I'm done now.
On to the rest of my week. I'm still really tired and I had planned on going to sleep early tonight but it just didn't happen as usual. Chris did not get home tonight until 9pm and Chucky fell asleep waiting for him to get home. I have been doing relatively well in my math class until monday when a project that was worth 10 pts was due and I had it done in time but you're required to post it to two different places and I only posted it to one so I get no points even though I did all the work and I can prove that I did have it done on time. The teacher I have for this class is good but she is a REALLY strict grader which makes the class more difficult. I emailed her and explained my mistake and she said she couldn't give me any points on it because it wouldn't be fair to other students who had made the same mistake. So apparently we're not allowed stupid human errors every once in awhile. On top of that we're moving from the office we currently occupy at work to the one right next door which is bigger. They have been getting the new office ready for us for the past two days and they have been painting in there. Since my desk is right by the door of our current office I have been smelling paint fumes and coming home with monster headaches and a sour stomach for the past two days from the smell. They won't open doors or windows to ventilate because it is balls cold outside and would make the whole building cold. Because of said monstrous headache yesterday I came home yesterday feeling like crap, fell asleep to try to get rid of the headache, didn't wake up til right before 11 pm and didn't have time to finish my math test and turn it in. Since she accepts no late assignments at all I also missed the 10 points for the test this week. So I went from an A in the class to a B if I'm lucky by not getting credit for the one assignment and missing the other one. At least the other class is going okay. I think I'll end up with an A- in that one. I just have to come up with my paper topic in the next couple of days and I have no idea what I want to write a seven page paper on.
Also adding to my week of misery was the fact that my husband forgot to put our pug in his cage before he went to work yesterday so the dumb little mutt had free run of the house until my dad got there to let him out 5 hours later and he peed and pooped all over our house. I didn't find the last pile until I went to put Chucky to bed that night and stepped in it WITH BARE FEET.
Lately too what has added to my feeling down is that sometimes I get the feeling that concerning our life here I'm in the fight alone because I don't get the support I need from Chris. He works full time and I work full time. Granted I work set hours and he works shitty hours but when he gets home its a fight to the death to get him to help me with Chucky. He argues me to death about how he shouldn't have to wash him up when he's in the tub or change his diaper or put him to bed because he just got home and wants to relax. I point out to him that when I got home I didn't get to relax because I had to take care of Chucky. He also argues with me CONSTANTLY about cleaning the house. Every day he says he'll clean the kitchen up before he leaves in the morning and every night when I get home the kitchen is still in a huge mess and the rest of the house is exactly like it was when I left. He thinks cleaning it up really good one day on the weekend is good enough. I can't stand having a dirty house. He argues with me over whose turn it is to make dinner. We're supposed to be taking turns but there are some nights where he just goes "I'm not making dinner" and he expects me to make Chucky's dinner and find something for myself. Also he has no involvement in paying our bills. I take care of all of our finances. I have often thought of handing the financial reigns over to him just so he can see how stressful it is to have to budget and pay the bills but if I did this even for a short period I have this fear that our bills would go unpaid and we would be in financial ruin in no time. Its never a good feeling to feel unsupported by your partner. When we are not fighting and we are getting along its great but sometimes I just get so damn sick of feeling like the relationship is lopsided and the pressure is on me. Maybe its the depression and PTSD thats making me feel this way, I don't know but I hate it and I wish we could change it but it takes two people to make a change and I think both of us are too stubborn to budge.
Well if this post hasn't been all over the place. I have even more to write but I also need to go to bed. You know, that work thing in the morning......
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Sleep? What is this word, sleep?
That is basically how I have felt all week. Its been crazy for me for a variety of reasons. Work has been really slow lately which gives me alot of free time to do homework while I'm there. All week long I've been able to get everything done I need to by noon or 1pm and then do a few homework assignments in between answering the phones. When I get home though, its a different story. Chris has been sick all week which means no help with Chucky, the dogs, cleaning the house, cooking, or anything else that needed to be done this week. On top of that I haven't been able to fall asleep until around 1 or 2 am every morning and then I get up at 7:30 and do the whole thing all over again. I hope he feels better soon because I really need this weekend to catch up on my sleep. On the plus side I'll be catching up on that sleep in our brand new bed which arrived today. Its SOOOO soft.
Oh yeah, I made it through my 25th birthday and thanks to all who sent me birthday wishes. I actually had a decent birthday for once. I got the bag I wanted and I got my traditional pineapple upside down cake that my dad always makes me. I also got to go eat dinner at my favorite chinese place so all was good.
I'm trying to decide right now if I want to continue working on my degree 1 class the first term and 2 classes the 2nd term for the quarters or if I want to do two classes both terms of a quarter. If I do the 1 and 2 combo I'll graduate with my bachelor's in Feb of 09. If I do the 2 and2 combo I'll graduate with my bachelors September of next year. I do want to graduate the earlier date but that means risking burning myself out even more than I am now and I don't know if I could do that. I really like the classes I'm taking now though. I'm in intermediate algebra and POL201a American Political Systems. I'll be done with those in 3.5 more weeks and then its on to western geography and trigonometry. Oooh the excitement. I was going to write more but I am really tired so I think I'm going to try to go to bed early for once (well early for me, anyway....)
Oh yeah, I made it through my 25th birthday and thanks to all who sent me birthday wishes. I actually had a decent birthday for once. I got the bag I wanted and I got my traditional pineapple upside down cake that my dad always makes me. I also got to go eat dinner at my favorite chinese place so all was good.
I'm trying to decide right now if I want to continue working on my degree 1 class the first term and 2 classes the 2nd term for the quarters or if I want to do two classes both terms of a quarter. If I do the 1 and 2 combo I'll graduate with my bachelor's in Feb of 09. If I do the 2 and2 combo I'll graduate with my bachelors September of next year. I do want to graduate the earlier date but that means risking burning myself out even more than I am now and I don't know if I could do that. I really like the classes I'm taking now though. I'm in intermediate algebra and POL201a American Political Systems. I'll be done with those in 3.5 more weeks and then its on to western geography and trigonometry. Oooh the excitement. I was going to write more but I am really tired so I think I'm going to try to go to bed early for once (well early for me, anyway....)
Monday, February 19, 2007
Mission Accomplished
No I did not just prematurely declare an end to the war in Iraq (cough, cough, President Bush, cough). I am referring to my grade in the psychology class. I did pass it (barely) and I will be retaking it during the 2nd half of spring quarter so it does not completely tank my GPA.
My dad did the unexpected today and called to ask if he could take Chucky out for a couple of hours so we said sure and while they were gone Chris and I went shopping for a new bed. I'm sure I've mentioned it in other posts that Chris is a big behemoth of a man. If not there it is. He is quite big. Well we currently have a queen size bed which would usually be adequate for most couples but definitely not for us. He takes up most the bed which is bad enough but he makes claims of "poor circulation" which he says makes him uncomfortable and causes him to roll all over the bed all night. I usually have about a foot and a half of space to sleep in because of this. That was all fine and dandy when we first got married and I was a size 3 but I am definitely not that small anymore and I am tired of sleeping like crap. The color under my eyes is a lovely shade of purple which I try to hide with makeup so I don't scare people. I've reached the point where I'm tired of looking and feeling like a corpse so dammit we are getting a new bed. I'm sure I'm not the only one to have a sleeping partner I'm incompatible with. We're getting a king size. Moving up in the world we are.
I've decided as of late that I want to start reading again. Maybe not as much as I used to because I just don't have time for that. I used to be holed up in my room all day long some days when I was younger and back then I'd be able to get through 2 300 page books a day. I would also stay up until 2 am reading and then get up at 7 for school with no problems. I just can't do that anymore. I would like to fit it somewhere in my schedule to be able to read at least one book a month, textbooks for college not counting of course. I don't think this is too overambitious so hopefully I can do it. Just for giggles here is a list of some of my all time favorite books:
1. The phantom tollbooth by norton juster. Our teacher made us read this in 6th grade. By the time she made us read it I had already read it at least 10 times. Still have a copy of it in my basement somewhere
2. The Egypt Game by zilpha keatly snyder. Read this one mulitple times as a kid too.
3. Imzadi by Peter David. Every Trekkie worth their salt has a favorite Trek novel and this one was it for me. A trek love story. I first read this back when I had a crush on Jonathan Frakes who played Commander Riker. Krista decided one morning in 7th grade that it would be hilarious to draw a picture of leapord print underwear and put Cdr Rikers pic in the middle so when I opened my locker that morning it would pop out at me.
4. Roots by Alex Haley. This book was just amazing. Even better was Queen also by Alex Haley. Both were made into a miniseries, neither of which even came close to comparing to the books.
5. The Stand by Stephen King. I think this is the most popular (and possibly the longest) book he's ever written. I love me some Stephen King books.
6. Wanderlust by Danielle Steel. I've read alot of her books but this one is my favorite because its the first one I ever read.
7. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. This is my all time favorite movie. Seeing the movie made me wish I was alive in the era when Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh were big stars. The book was even better. The follow up book Scarlett by Alexandra Ripley was awesome too.
8. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. She is a great writer. I heard they are making this book into a movie starring Scarlet Johannsen. This author started my current love affair with historical fiction books.
9. I love anything written by Michael Connelly but my favorite in the Harry Bosch series is the Concrete Blonde. Don't know why but I just really liked that one for some reason.
10. Last but certainly not least on this list is Pride and Prejudice. I think we read this one in school and I know we watched the movie. I liked all of Jane Austen's books I have read so far but by far this one is my favorite.
And now that I have shown my true nerd colors by posting that list, I think I will go do me some homework before I get too tired.
My dad did the unexpected today and called to ask if he could take Chucky out for a couple of hours so we said sure and while they were gone Chris and I went shopping for a new bed. I'm sure I've mentioned it in other posts that Chris is a big behemoth of a man. If not there it is. He is quite big. Well we currently have a queen size bed which would usually be adequate for most couples but definitely not for us. He takes up most the bed which is bad enough but he makes claims of "poor circulation" which he says makes him uncomfortable and causes him to roll all over the bed all night. I usually have about a foot and a half of space to sleep in because of this. That was all fine and dandy when we first got married and I was a size 3 but I am definitely not that small anymore and I am tired of sleeping like crap. The color under my eyes is a lovely shade of purple which I try to hide with makeup so I don't scare people. I've reached the point where I'm tired of looking and feeling like a corpse so dammit we are getting a new bed. I'm sure I'm not the only one to have a sleeping partner I'm incompatible with. We're getting a king size. Moving up in the world we are.
I've decided as of late that I want to start reading again. Maybe not as much as I used to because I just don't have time for that. I used to be holed up in my room all day long some days when I was younger and back then I'd be able to get through 2 300 page books a day. I would also stay up until 2 am reading and then get up at 7 for school with no problems. I just can't do that anymore. I would like to fit it somewhere in my schedule to be able to read at least one book a month, textbooks for college not counting of course. I don't think this is too overambitious so hopefully I can do it. Just for giggles here is a list of some of my all time favorite books:
1. The phantom tollbooth by norton juster. Our teacher made us read this in 6th grade. By the time she made us read it I had already read it at least 10 times. Still have a copy of it in my basement somewhere
2. The Egypt Game by zilpha keatly snyder. Read this one mulitple times as a kid too.
3. Imzadi by Peter David. Every Trekkie worth their salt has a favorite Trek novel and this one was it for me. A trek love story. I first read this back when I had a crush on Jonathan Frakes who played Commander Riker. Krista decided one morning in 7th grade that it would be hilarious to draw a picture of leapord print underwear and put Cdr Rikers pic in the middle so when I opened my locker that morning it would pop out at me.
4. Roots by Alex Haley. This book was just amazing. Even better was Queen also by Alex Haley. Both were made into a miniseries, neither of which even came close to comparing to the books.
5. The Stand by Stephen King. I think this is the most popular (and possibly the longest) book he's ever written. I love me some Stephen King books.
6. Wanderlust by Danielle Steel. I've read alot of her books but this one is my favorite because its the first one I ever read.
7. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. This is my all time favorite movie. Seeing the movie made me wish I was alive in the era when Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh were big stars. The book was even better. The follow up book Scarlett by Alexandra Ripley was awesome too.
8. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. She is a great writer. I heard they are making this book into a movie starring Scarlet Johannsen. This author started my current love affair with historical fiction books.
9. I love anything written by Michael Connelly but my favorite in the Harry Bosch series is the Concrete Blonde. Don't know why but I just really liked that one for some reason.
10. Last but certainly not least on this list is Pride and Prejudice. I think we read this one in school and I know we watched the movie. I liked all of Jane Austen's books I have read so far but by far this one is my favorite.
And now that I have shown my true nerd colors by posting that list, I think I will go do me some homework before I get too tired.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Praying for a passing grade
Well I did all I could to resuscitate my psychology grade during the last week of class. Now its just waiting to see if I passed it or not. I had a really difficult time with it because i have been burnt out and exhausted for weeks now and I just couldn't do the late nights to get the homework done. There will be consequences if I do not pass the class because my schooling is paid for by the VA and if I don't show "progress" in my degree then they can stop my benefits and it may take awhile to get them started again so here's hoping I passed the class. If I did I'm planning on retaking it again the coming quarter so I can get the higher grade to boost my GPA back up. Yesterday I started two new classes: American Political Systems and Intermediate Algebra. Wierd thing is I feel such a big sense of relief from having finished the psychology class that it gave me alot of motivation to start these two classes off on the right foot. Hopefully I can keep that going for the next six weeks.
Not much going on otherwise. I have been sick with a cold this week. It started out as a sore throat. Once the sore throat got better my nose got all plugged and my ears started hurting because my sinuses are draining. I'm hoping this goes away soon because I'm tired of feeling like my head weighs 30 lbs and I hate having that feeling in my nose like I'm going to sneeze and I never do.
I have monday off and I'm planning on sleeping in til at least 10am every day this weekend. I stayed up til 4am thursday morning to finish my psychology paper and then I got up and got ready for work at 7:30. I haven't quite caught up on the missed sleep yet. Gonna get some homework done before I go to bed. TTFN.
Not much going on otherwise. I have been sick with a cold this week. It started out as a sore throat. Once the sore throat got better my nose got all plugged and my ears started hurting because my sinuses are draining. I'm hoping this goes away soon because I'm tired of feeling like my head weighs 30 lbs and I hate having that feeling in my nose like I'm going to sneeze and I never do.
I have monday off and I'm planning on sleeping in til at least 10am every day this weekend. I stayed up til 4am thursday morning to finish my psychology paper and then I got up and got ready for work at 7:30. I haven't quite caught up on the missed sleep yet. Gonna get some homework done before I go to bed. TTFN.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Randomness as Usual
So my 25th birthday is coming up in 10 days. Is it sad when you look forward to a birthday because your car insurance is going to go down? Yet another example of how I am a far cry from the person I was just 5 years ago. I don't really look forward to birthdays all that much. When I was little my dad used to have a birthday party for me every year. When I got into my tween and teen years though since my dad and stepmother were both working I would come home to some birthday cards and a pineapple upside down cake (my dad makes me one every year) on the table and that was that. This year I don't want much. I just mainly like cash these days so I can get myself new clothes. I am one of those people who doesn't have a huge wardrobe, just about 5 or 6 outfits that are in heavy rotation all the time so they tend to get worn out faster. My dad said he is getting me a cell phone for emergencies which is definitely something I need because I have a 70 mile roundtrip commute to and from work every day and if something happens during that time I have no way to get ahold of anyone.
Last year I slid off the road at 70 mph, slammed into a road sign and skidded to a stop about a foot from a big tree. I walked up to the road and some lady was nice enough to stop and pick me up and give me a ride to a gas station so I could call Chris and have him come get me. So the cell phone will definitely help if a situation like that happens again.
I used to be one of those people that oohed and aahed over things with designer labels but I've never owned anything designer in my entire life. JC Penney is about as high end as I go shopping for clothes and I don't have a problem with that. This year though there is one item that is designer that I would just love for my birthday and I can't afford it. There are 3 bags that are designed by Dooney & Bourke. I want either a medium banana bag, a saddle bag, or a pocket sac all in denim. Those suckers retail for between $195 - $300. Well for the past week I've been bidding on brand new ones on ebay and every single time I've been outbid because I can't bid more the $90 on it. Hopefully sometime before my birthday I'll win one. Thats all I really want for my birthday this year besides saving whatever money I get for the trip to Chicago in May.
Today is going to be busy for me. I had to work yesterday to make up for monday when I stayed home sick because I completely misunderstood the sick leave policy that the company that took over my contract has. Today I have A TON of homework but I am planning on laying down for an hour or two before I start it. I was planning on sleeping in til about 11 this morning but Chucky woke me up at 9:20 this morning because he wanted to see his daddy and Chris was downstairs on his STUPID computer game again and didn't hear him get up. I swear this happens to me every single sunday. Sunday is my designated day to sleep in. Either Chucky ends up waking me up because he can't find chris and he wants his oatmeal or somebody forgets that I asked that they not call before NOON on sundays and the phone ends up waking me up. And every time they say "Oh, I thought you'd be up by now". Um, no and i've told you 5 hundred billion times not to call here this early because I WILL BE SLEEPING STILL. No, this doesn't piss me off, not in the least bit.... Anyway I don't want to start the homework when I'm still feeling tired because around 11 pm I will be hit with a wave of exhaustion and won't be able to work anymore and I don't want that to happen.
Unfortunately when I wrote a week or two ago that I had to catch up on the homework for my psychology class or I would probably fail, well that never happened. Now its the last week of class and it really is do or die because the class ends wednesday and considering almost everything has been late I probably won't pass it anyway. I'm going to try like hell though. My goal is to get the D to pass so I can sign up to take it again spring quarter. If I don't pass it this time then I get in deep dookie with the VA, possibly with them cutting my funding until the certifying official at the school tells them to re-enroll me and who knows how long that will take? Oh the messes I get myself into sometimes but I've been feeling SOO EXHAUSTED lately and on top of that the first week of class was when my old computer took a crap and I had to get a new one and the fifth week of class chucky, chris and I were sick. I'll work it out hopefully.
So, I have a whole lot of stuff that I need to sell. I just need to decide where I'm going to sell it. I could do EBAY where the most people would see my stuff or I could do Craigslist because thats free. Right now I have my extra set of wrestlemania tickets posted on Craigslist and Stubhub for $200 so hopefully they sell. I'm sure I could make a good chunk of cash if I could just find the time to list all the stuff. One thing I did purchase recently from amazon was Quicken Willmaker 2007. Krista's girlfriend Sarah did a post about it and although I wanted it for different reasons, I think its a good thing to get because we can't afford an attorney to do one either. I discussed this with Chris about a week ago and we both agreed that we needed to get this done soon because if something happens to both of us and there is no will, the state of michigan is going to decide what happens to our son and I DO NOT want that to happen. It should get here sometime next week. Hopefully I can set down with my dad and do up his will too so he has it in writing what he wants done. I think if we do that if will give peace of mind to both of us.
I also started Chris' 401k plan through his work this past week. I did a little research and found out that I cannot start one with my place of employment until I've been with the new contractors for a year. Since I don't want to wait a whole year to start my retirement savings because my goal was to start that this year, and I don't have $2500 to dump into and IRA or $200 a month to contribute to one, I need to do some research sometime today to find out what I want to invest in for my retirement. I'm finally getting the feeling that we're on the right track. After I get my tax check the only debt we will have is the house, the timeshare, and the payment for my car which I only owe $5,000 on.
I've been thinking alot lately about what's going to happen when my dad is gone and I think there are going to be big changes in store for me and my family when that happens. He is really the only tie that is holding me here in Muskegon. When I moved back here in July of 2005 I was hoping for a fresh start but that fresh start kind of sputtered out before it began. Nothing really changed for Chris and I but our location and thats not what I wanted. So I've been thinking lately, is there really any reason to stay here once he's gone? The only person I will miss if I left would be my sister and I can't stay here just because of her although I know it would upset her a great deal if we were to leave because she would miss Chucky. We've both been considering selling this house and my dads if something happens to him and moving to NY. It would be quite the upheaval for all of us and we'd really have to think on it but I'm confident I can find a job through the state or a federal job that would pay me at least as much as I'm making now and by the time something does happen to my dad (God forbid but its going to happen sometime in the future)I should be done with my Bachelors and working on either a 2nd bachelor's or a Master's degree. Lots to mull over anyway. And now for that power nap...........
Last year I slid off the road at 70 mph, slammed into a road sign and skidded to a stop about a foot from a big tree. I walked up to the road and some lady was nice enough to stop and pick me up and give me a ride to a gas station so I could call Chris and have him come get me. So the cell phone will definitely help if a situation like that happens again.
I used to be one of those people that oohed and aahed over things with designer labels but I've never owned anything designer in my entire life. JC Penney is about as high end as I go shopping for clothes and I don't have a problem with that. This year though there is one item that is designer that I would just love for my birthday and I can't afford it. There are 3 bags that are designed by Dooney & Bourke. I want either a medium banana bag, a saddle bag, or a pocket sac all in denim. Those suckers retail for between $195 - $300. Well for the past week I've been bidding on brand new ones on ebay and every single time I've been outbid because I can't bid more the $90 on it. Hopefully sometime before my birthday I'll win one. Thats all I really want for my birthday this year besides saving whatever money I get for the trip to Chicago in May.
Today is going to be busy for me. I had to work yesterday to make up for monday when I stayed home sick because I completely misunderstood the sick leave policy that the company that took over my contract has. Today I have A TON of homework but I am planning on laying down for an hour or two before I start it. I was planning on sleeping in til about 11 this morning but Chucky woke me up at 9:20 this morning because he wanted to see his daddy and Chris was downstairs on his STUPID computer game again and didn't hear him get up. I swear this happens to me every single sunday. Sunday is my designated day to sleep in. Either Chucky ends up waking me up because he can't find chris and he wants his oatmeal or somebody forgets that I asked that they not call before NOON on sundays and the phone ends up waking me up. And every time they say "Oh, I thought you'd be up by now". Um, no and i've told you 5 hundred billion times not to call here this early because I WILL BE SLEEPING STILL. No, this doesn't piss me off, not in the least bit.... Anyway I don't want to start the homework when I'm still feeling tired because around 11 pm I will be hit with a wave of exhaustion and won't be able to work anymore and I don't want that to happen.
Unfortunately when I wrote a week or two ago that I had to catch up on the homework for my psychology class or I would probably fail, well that never happened. Now its the last week of class and it really is do or die because the class ends wednesday and considering almost everything has been late I probably won't pass it anyway. I'm going to try like hell though. My goal is to get the D to pass so I can sign up to take it again spring quarter. If I don't pass it this time then I get in deep dookie with the VA, possibly with them cutting my funding until the certifying official at the school tells them to re-enroll me and who knows how long that will take? Oh the messes I get myself into sometimes but I've been feeling SOO EXHAUSTED lately and on top of that the first week of class was when my old computer took a crap and I had to get a new one and the fifth week of class chucky, chris and I were sick. I'll work it out hopefully.
So, I have a whole lot of stuff that I need to sell. I just need to decide where I'm going to sell it. I could do EBAY where the most people would see my stuff or I could do Craigslist because thats free. Right now I have my extra set of wrestlemania tickets posted on Craigslist and Stubhub for $200 so hopefully they sell. I'm sure I could make a good chunk of cash if I could just find the time to list all the stuff. One thing I did purchase recently from amazon was Quicken Willmaker 2007. Krista's girlfriend Sarah did a post about it and although I wanted it for different reasons, I think its a good thing to get because we can't afford an attorney to do one either. I discussed this with Chris about a week ago and we both agreed that we needed to get this done soon because if something happens to both of us and there is no will, the state of michigan is going to decide what happens to our son and I DO NOT want that to happen. It should get here sometime next week. Hopefully I can set down with my dad and do up his will too so he has it in writing what he wants done. I think if we do that if will give peace of mind to both of us.
I also started Chris' 401k plan through his work this past week. I did a little research and found out that I cannot start one with my place of employment until I've been with the new contractors for a year. Since I don't want to wait a whole year to start my retirement savings because my goal was to start that this year, and I don't have $2500 to dump into and IRA or $200 a month to contribute to one, I need to do some research sometime today to find out what I want to invest in for my retirement. I'm finally getting the feeling that we're on the right track. After I get my tax check the only debt we will have is the house, the timeshare, and the payment for my car which I only owe $5,000 on.
I've been thinking alot lately about what's going to happen when my dad is gone and I think there are going to be big changes in store for me and my family when that happens. He is really the only tie that is holding me here in Muskegon. When I moved back here in July of 2005 I was hoping for a fresh start but that fresh start kind of sputtered out before it began. Nothing really changed for Chris and I but our location and thats not what I wanted. So I've been thinking lately, is there really any reason to stay here once he's gone? The only person I will miss if I left would be my sister and I can't stay here just because of her although I know it would upset her a great deal if we were to leave because she would miss Chucky. We've both been considering selling this house and my dads if something happens to him and moving to NY. It would be quite the upheaval for all of us and we'd really have to think on it but I'm confident I can find a job through the state or a federal job that would pay me at least as much as I'm making now and by the time something does happen to my dad (God forbid but its going to happen sometime in the future)I should be done with my Bachelors and working on either a 2nd bachelor's or a Master's degree. Lots to mull over anyway. And now for that power nap...........
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Busy Day
Leave it to mother nature to completely put a damper on my plans today. We went the entire month of december with hardly the sighting of a snowflake and most of january was the same way. Now here it is february and its snowed a foot in 1 week. They actually let me come home from work and hang out at the Muskegon Recruiting Station until 5 when I go home because a winter storm warning was issued and I was afraid I was going to get stuck in Grand Rapids. My car, as I'm finding out, is great for fitting alot of stuff in and for roadtrips in general but it is absolutely horrendous in the snow.
Tonight is supposed to be Chucky's first overnight trip. He was going to spend the night at my sister's house. Now because of the weather and also because he got sick last night I don't know if that is going to happen. He kept complaining that his belly hurt yesterday and he kept farting all day long so I knew it had to be gas and that he was probably constipated. Well he woke up last night with the same complaints so Chris put him in our bed and he fell back asleep. He woke up at 1:30 am asking for some juice so I got him some and he fell back asleep. Half an hour later I wake up to the sound of the poor kid wretching all over my husband and his side of the bed). It was like a scene out of the exorcist. Well Chris got him cleaned up and I tore all the bedding off the bed but the room still stunk so bad we didn't want to sleep in there. Chris ended up sleeping on the couch and Chucky and I slept on the twin bed in the spare room. He seems to be doing alot better today besides being over the constipation, having moved on to explosive diarrhea. So now I'm trying to decide since he is feeling better except for the pooping thing, if I want to let him go to my sisters as planned or keep him here.
We were planning on going to our favorite chinese place in GR if he did go to my sister's. Okay, now that we're over that bit of grossness, moving on....
Has anyone ever looked up their exes (I mean not called to say hi how ya doin' but just googled them or put their name in myspace to see if they had an account and what they're up to now, you know, just to satisfy your curiousity? I have done this before because most of my past relationships have not ended on a positive note. There was only one that I can remember where we promised eachother we'd be friends and stay in touch even though that never happened. Well in my searches, here is what I found out:
The person I considered my first "real" boyfriend way back in the 8th grade is gay now.
Both people that I dated in sophomore year of high school (they went to a different school) are married and one has a baby.
One of the guys I dated in senior year of high school (also from a different high school) is now married with a kid. This is the one I was supposed to stay friends with and didn't.
I have no idea what the hell happened to the other guy I dated in senior year (the one with the kid, that almost drug me down into his pit of nothingness and ruined my life) and frankly I don't care what happened to him.
The guy I dated in Korea that I was engaged to and broke it off when I got back to the states is still in the Army and still searching for "the one". Developed a bit of a drinking problem, that one did.
The guy I dated after him that went a wee bit psycho on me and kind of became a stalker after we broke up for good is married with a kid.
And then after that there was Chris. Met him in may of 2002, married him 6 months later and he's still here 5 YEARS later. The guy deserves a medal or something. I looked up the hubby to see if he a myspace account and he did. Funny thing was he didn't fill out the profile at all so it is set to the default info. His profile says single, doesn't want kids and "no answer" under his sexual orientation. I pointed this out to him and teased him mercilessly about how he's trying to get rid of me and Chucky to find himself a myspace ho and since he has no answer for sexual orientation he must be a closet pooper poker (members of the gay community please do not get offended, I have no problem with people being gay at all, I just say that to him because it gets him all flustered).
For those of you who don't know my husband, he is a good guy but he doesn't like me or anyone else messing with his tough guy persona. Normally his physical appearance alone is enough to make most people think he could snap them like a twig (he's 6'2", 250 lbs). Still he likes to talk the good game about being able to beat the crap out of anyone, anytime, anywhere (# of people he's beat up in the last 5 yrs: 0) and associates himself with the usual manly activities (burping, farting, scratching, smelling up the house when he takes a dump, dominating the remote, gaming and computer nerdism etc...) just to cement his complete masculine status to anyone he may encounter. So insinuating he's gay.... yeah he's not exactly thrilled when I do it which makes his reaction and inevitable attempts to prove how manly he is all the more hilarious to me. He has his comments he says to get back at me though so don't feel too bad for him.
Well its almost an hour later, Chucky is still napping (I tricked him into taking some Motrin by putting it in his juice) and I still haven't decided if he's going to my sisters. Guess we'll see how he feels when he wakes up.
Tonight is supposed to be Chucky's first overnight trip. He was going to spend the night at my sister's house. Now because of the weather and also because he got sick last night I don't know if that is going to happen. He kept complaining that his belly hurt yesterday and he kept farting all day long so I knew it had to be gas and that he was probably constipated. Well he woke up last night with the same complaints so Chris put him in our bed and he fell back asleep. He woke up at 1:30 am asking for some juice so I got him some and he fell back asleep. Half an hour later I wake up to the sound of the poor kid wretching all over my husband and his side of the bed). It was like a scene out of the exorcist. Well Chris got him cleaned up and I tore all the bedding off the bed but the room still stunk so bad we didn't want to sleep in there. Chris ended up sleeping on the couch and Chucky and I slept on the twin bed in the spare room. He seems to be doing alot better today besides being over the constipation, having moved on to explosive diarrhea. So now I'm trying to decide since he is feeling better except for the pooping thing, if I want to let him go to my sisters as planned or keep him here.
We were planning on going to our favorite chinese place in GR if he did go to my sister's. Okay, now that we're over that bit of grossness, moving on....
Has anyone ever looked up their exes (I mean not called to say hi how ya doin' but just googled them or put their name in myspace to see if they had an account and what they're up to now, you know, just to satisfy your curiousity? I have done this before because most of my past relationships have not ended on a positive note. There was only one that I can remember where we promised eachother we'd be friends and stay in touch even though that never happened. Well in my searches, here is what I found out:
The person I considered my first "real" boyfriend way back in the 8th grade is gay now.
Both people that I dated in sophomore year of high school (they went to a different school) are married and one has a baby.
One of the guys I dated in senior year of high school (also from a different high school) is now married with a kid. This is the one I was supposed to stay friends with and didn't.
I have no idea what the hell happened to the other guy I dated in senior year (the one with the kid, that almost drug me down into his pit of nothingness and ruined my life) and frankly I don't care what happened to him.
The guy I dated in Korea that I was engaged to and broke it off when I got back to the states is still in the Army and still searching for "the one". Developed a bit of a drinking problem, that one did.
The guy I dated after him that went a wee bit psycho on me and kind of became a stalker after we broke up for good is married with a kid.
And then after that there was Chris. Met him in may of 2002, married him 6 months later and he's still here 5 YEARS later. The guy deserves a medal or something. I looked up the hubby to see if he a myspace account and he did. Funny thing was he didn't fill out the profile at all so it is set to the default info. His profile says single, doesn't want kids and "no answer" under his sexual orientation. I pointed this out to him and teased him mercilessly about how he's trying to get rid of me and Chucky to find himself a myspace ho and since he has no answer for sexual orientation he must be a closet pooper poker (members of the gay community please do not get offended, I have no problem with people being gay at all, I just say that to him because it gets him all flustered).
For those of you who don't know my husband, he is a good guy but he doesn't like me or anyone else messing with his tough guy persona. Normally his physical appearance alone is enough to make most people think he could snap them like a twig (he's 6'2", 250 lbs). Still he likes to talk the good game about being able to beat the crap out of anyone, anytime, anywhere (# of people he's beat up in the last 5 yrs: 0) and associates himself with the usual manly activities (burping, farting, scratching, smelling up the house when he takes a dump, dominating the remote, gaming and computer nerdism etc...) just to cement his complete masculine status to anyone he may encounter. So insinuating he's gay.... yeah he's not exactly thrilled when I do it which makes his reaction and inevitable attempts to prove how manly he is all the more hilarious to me. He has his comments he says to get back at me though so don't feel too bad for him.
Well its almost an hour later, Chucky is still napping (I tricked him into taking some Motrin by putting it in his juice) and I still haven't decided if he's going to my sisters. Guess we'll see how he feels when he wakes up.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Planning Ahead
I really need about a week off just to sit around and do nothing. Unfortunately I am not going to get that luxury anytime this year because my job is a government contract position and the contract was taken over by a new company on the 2nd of January. What this means for me is that since a new company has the contract, even though I've been working for the GR Recruiting Company since October of 2005, its like starting a brand new job which means I have to wait til my probation period is over with this company for my benefits to kick in (no big deal as I am covered under Chris' insurance) AND I am not allowed vacation for the first year of employment with the new company. Yep. Thats right. No time off for an entire year save the 10 federal holidays that we get off a year. I decided that since there was no chance for a real vacation this year that I would plan something for one of the three day weekends that I was going to have.
I have a timeshare that Chris and I bought into and have been paying on since April of 2004. Since then we've regretted our decision in buying it because we're paying out $250 a month until the 17,000 loan is payed off on it and in the almost 3 years we've had it we have yet to use it. For anyone out there that is considering buying a timeshare I recommend that you do not go through one of the companies that actually sells them as you will be paying alot of money for a piece of propery that has a resale value of about 10% what you bought it for. Once you buy a timeshare they are really difficult to get rid of. Believe me we've tried. We had two different companies rip us off to the tune of $1,200, promising that they would sell it for us and for a good price, in 6 weeks or less. They took our money and ran. Anyway our property is deeded for a resort in the Smoky Mountains in Seiverville, TN but since we are Fairshare Plus members we can use our annual allocation of points for any resort or affiliate resort they have. We can also use the points towards cruises, airline tickets, rental cars, and hotels. I decided to use our points for this year to get a hotel in Chicago over memorial day weekend.
I figured this would be a nice weekend getaway. We're going to be staying at the Four Points by Sheraton which judging by the online reviews I've read is a nice hotel in a great location (magnificent mile!). Normally hotels in the magnificent mile area cost a whole lotta cash (which we ain't got...). The particular room that we reserved for our stay is normally $245 a night but since I used my points all I have to pay is a $35 service charge. Not too bad of a deal I think. Now all that is left to do is to decide out of all the things to do in Chicago, what do we want to cram into 3 days.
Here are the ones I'm thinking of: I want to go the Navy Pier, the Children's museum for Chucky, Lincoln Park Zoo, Shedd Aquarium, the Sears Tower, The Museum of Science and Industry and the Field Museum. Nevermind that the last two you could take up and entire day for each. Not likely that we'll be able to see all that while we're there but we sure can try. They also have a chicago city pass which gives you admission to 5 tourist attractions in Chicago that combined would normally run just under $100 per person to the bargain price of $49. Since I'm all about saving money (I'm one of those people that can squeeze a nickel until a booger shoots out of Jefferson's nose, or until the buffalo shits depending on what kind of nickel you have) I'm really thinking this would be a good deal for us to snatch up two city passes. Lucky for us at his age Chucky gets in to just about everything for free. Well I have almost four months to figure it out anyway.
In other exciting news, it is already late and I will be hitting the books until at least 2 am because I am STILL trying to catch up. I'm to the point where I have no choice now. I either pull it together and finish out the last three weeks strong or I fail the class and throw away $700. So guess i had better get to it.
I have a timeshare that Chris and I bought into and have been paying on since April of 2004. Since then we've regretted our decision in buying it because we're paying out $250 a month until the 17,000 loan is payed off on it and in the almost 3 years we've had it we have yet to use it. For anyone out there that is considering buying a timeshare I recommend that you do not go through one of the companies that actually sells them as you will be paying alot of money for a piece of propery that has a resale value of about 10% what you bought it for. Once you buy a timeshare they are really difficult to get rid of. Believe me we've tried. We had two different companies rip us off to the tune of $1,200, promising that they would sell it for us and for a good price, in 6 weeks or less. They took our money and ran. Anyway our property is deeded for a resort in the Smoky Mountains in Seiverville, TN but since we are Fairshare Plus members we can use our annual allocation of points for any resort or affiliate resort they have. We can also use the points towards cruises, airline tickets, rental cars, and hotels. I decided to use our points for this year to get a hotel in Chicago over memorial day weekend.
I figured this would be a nice weekend getaway. We're going to be staying at the Four Points by Sheraton which judging by the online reviews I've read is a nice hotel in a great location (magnificent mile!). Normally hotels in the magnificent mile area cost a whole lotta cash (which we ain't got...). The particular room that we reserved for our stay is normally $245 a night but since I used my points all I have to pay is a $35 service charge. Not too bad of a deal I think. Now all that is left to do is to decide out of all the things to do in Chicago, what do we want to cram into 3 days.
Here are the ones I'm thinking of: I want to go the Navy Pier, the Children's museum for Chucky, Lincoln Park Zoo, Shedd Aquarium, the Sears Tower, The Museum of Science and Industry and the Field Museum. Nevermind that the last two you could take up and entire day for each. Not likely that we'll be able to see all that while we're there but we sure can try. They also have a chicago city pass which gives you admission to 5 tourist attractions in Chicago that combined would normally run just under $100 per person to the bargain price of $49. Since I'm all about saving money (I'm one of those people that can squeeze a nickel until a booger shoots out of Jefferson's nose, or until the buffalo shits depending on what kind of nickel you have) I'm really thinking this would be a good deal for us to snatch up two city passes. Lucky for us at his age Chucky gets in to just about everything for free. Well I have almost four months to figure it out anyway.
In other exciting news, it is already late and I will be hitting the books until at least 2 am because I am STILL trying to catch up. I'm to the point where I have no choice now. I either pull it together and finish out the last three weeks strong or I fail the class and throw away $700. So guess i had better get to it.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
My Son the Actor
Its easy to forget how sensitive kids are when they're little. We were putting our darling Chucky to bed tonight and he was being a stubborn little turd. I picked him up to put him in bed and he reared his head back and headbutted me right in the jaw. It hurt really bad. Chris heard my yelp of pain and came to see what was wrong. I told him and he looked at Chucky and told him "You're a naughty boy. You hurt your momma. Daddy's mad at you he's leavin!" and he walked out of the room. As soon as he did that Chucky burst in to tears. I kept asking him "Buddy whats wrong?" Between sobs he goes "Daddy say I naughty boy. DADDY NO LOVE MEEEE!" Poor kid! I felt so bad for him. Chris came back in and spent the next 1/2 hr reassuring Chucky that he did love him and that he wasn't mad at him anymore. My son is a total daddy's boy except for when he's tired and wants to cuddle or when he's sick. Then its momma time. That child is just too smart for his own good sometimes. I worry that Chucky is going to end up like my niece. She was big for her age just like he is and my sister would get dirty looks all the time because in appearance Jordan looked like a 10 yr old girl when she was only 6. They would look at my sister like "why are you letting that child whine like that? She's too old for that!" and really she wasn't. She just looked like it. Chucky is the same way. He towers over all the other kids his age at daycare. I guess we shall see.
I have a few shows that I watch regularly. I think it averages out to maybe one a night but we have DVR and On Demand so really I could watch every show I like in one day if I wanted to. Here are the ones I currently rarely miss:
Sunday: This is my off TV day. Sometimes I catch Desperate Housewives but not very often because my husband hates this show with a passion. He calls it desperate buttwipes.
Monday: Monday Night RAW. I was in to wrestling when I was a wee one back in the late 80's. My dad used to watch it all the time then. He convinced me to pull out my loose tooth when I was eight by tying a string around it and tying the other end to a door and slamming it shut because "that is what Hulk Hogan would do if he had a loose tooth". I got back into it in 2002 because I lived in the barracks then and the guys used to watch it in the dayroom all the time. Since I didn't have a TV of my own I'd watch it with them.
Another one I watch on mondays: I Love New York. Yes that would be the whacked out chick from Flavor of Love that got rejected by him twice so VH1 felt bad for her and gave her her own show. Why the hell do I watch this you may ask? Because that show and the people on it are hilarious. Take for example, the guy dubbed Romance by Ms. New York. On the 1st day he met her he broke down in great big sobs about how his precious Yorkie "princess" died 3 wks ago and how his heart was broken and now he wanted to make New York his princess. The way the guy carried on you couldn't help but wonder if he had a more intimate relationship with his Yorkie. Can we say nutjob?
Tuesdays: Another day where I don't have a particular show I watch. This is usually a day where I'll watch something I recorded or browse on demand.
Wednesdays: I got into Courtney Cox's new show Dirt on FX when it premiered. I love this show, especially Don Konkey, the functional schizophrenic photographer who keeps having strange hallucinations every episode. I will definitely keep watching this one. I was surprised I actually got into this because I'm not a huge fan of Courtney Cox Arquette. She annoyed me on Friends and in the Scream movies. I used to watch Lost but lost interest in it.
Thursdays: Grey's Anatomy. I have watched this since episode one and yes I do think Patrick Dempsey should win an award for "best male hair on a TV series".
Fridays: Friday Night Smackdown of course! Did we forget that I was a wrestling freak? Side note: I have tickets to Wrestlemania 23 (Ford Field, Detroit MI, April 1st). Although I don't have floor seats which I would have gladly paid for had they been available, I don't have nosebleeds either so all of you other wrestling fanatics that will be watching it on pay per view- be jealous haters because I'm gonna see it live!
Saturdays: This is another catchup day for stuff I DVRed or watch on demand.
And here are the couple of shows that I regularly watch through the wonderfulness of on Demand:
After not watching several seasons of the mindless drivel that is MTV's the Real World, I have actually been watching the latest installment: The Real World Denver. Its the same crap its always been- 7 strangers picked to live in a house, get drunk every opportunity they get, contribute to the spread of STD's and live like complete slobs with the occasional knock down drag out fight. Its amusing at least. I also think that were I still a drinker, this would be an awesome show to make up a drinking game to. There could be rules like everytime Jenn says the phrase "rock star" or Colie sleeps with yet another guy or Alex makes an assinine comment you have to take a drink. Then again, maybe not. Everyone would be toasted before the 1st commercial break.
Another MTV guilty pleasure: Laguna Beach. Teenage angst and drama and being so filthy rich you could solve the poverty crisis in several third world countries just by donating the proceeds from one of your many shopping trips. Who can't relate to that?
And finally a show that Chris and I actually watch together. Thats right we actually agree on something! No sumo style fights in the middle of the living room for the remote- this one we both like. Showtime's Dexter. This one is about a serial killer who was taught by his adopted dad who was a cop to channel his homicidal tendencies into something positive by bumping off other serial killers. The storylines for this one are awesome and Michael C. Hall as Dexter is brilliant.
And there you have it folks, my weekly TV schedule. And now I shall be off to bed!
I have a few shows that I watch regularly. I think it averages out to maybe one a night but we have DVR and On Demand so really I could watch every show I like in one day if I wanted to. Here are the ones I currently rarely miss:
Sunday: This is my off TV day. Sometimes I catch Desperate Housewives but not very often because my husband hates this show with a passion. He calls it desperate buttwipes.
Monday: Monday Night RAW. I was in to wrestling when I was a wee one back in the late 80's. My dad used to watch it all the time then. He convinced me to pull out my loose tooth when I was eight by tying a string around it and tying the other end to a door and slamming it shut because "that is what Hulk Hogan would do if he had a loose tooth". I got back into it in 2002 because I lived in the barracks then and the guys used to watch it in the dayroom all the time. Since I didn't have a TV of my own I'd watch it with them.
Another one I watch on mondays: I Love New York. Yes that would be the whacked out chick from Flavor of Love that got rejected by him twice so VH1 felt bad for her and gave her her own show. Why the hell do I watch this you may ask? Because that show and the people on it are hilarious. Take for example, the guy dubbed Romance by Ms. New York. On the 1st day he met her he broke down in great big sobs about how his precious Yorkie "princess" died 3 wks ago and how his heart was broken and now he wanted to make New York his princess. The way the guy carried on you couldn't help but wonder if he had a more intimate relationship with his Yorkie. Can we say nutjob?
Tuesdays: Another day where I don't have a particular show I watch. This is usually a day where I'll watch something I recorded or browse on demand.
Wednesdays: I got into Courtney Cox's new show Dirt on FX when it premiered. I love this show, especially Don Konkey, the functional schizophrenic photographer who keeps having strange hallucinations every episode. I will definitely keep watching this one. I was surprised I actually got into this because I'm not a huge fan of Courtney Cox Arquette. She annoyed me on Friends and in the Scream movies. I used to watch Lost but lost interest in it.
Thursdays: Grey's Anatomy. I have watched this since episode one and yes I do think Patrick Dempsey should win an award for "best male hair on a TV series".
Fridays: Friday Night Smackdown of course! Did we forget that I was a wrestling freak? Side note: I have tickets to Wrestlemania 23 (Ford Field, Detroit MI, April 1st). Although I don't have floor seats which I would have gladly paid for had they been available, I don't have nosebleeds either so all of you other wrestling fanatics that will be watching it on pay per view- be jealous haters because I'm gonna see it live!
Saturdays: This is another catchup day for stuff I DVRed or watch on demand.
And here are the couple of shows that I regularly watch through the wonderfulness of on Demand:
After not watching several seasons of the mindless drivel that is MTV's the Real World, I have actually been watching the latest installment: The Real World Denver. Its the same crap its always been- 7 strangers picked to live in a house, get drunk every opportunity they get, contribute to the spread of STD's and live like complete slobs with the occasional knock down drag out fight. Its amusing at least. I also think that were I still a drinker, this would be an awesome show to make up a drinking game to. There could be rules like everytime Jenn says the phrase "rock star" or Colie sleeps with yet another guy or Alex makes an assinine comment you have to take a drink. Then again, maybe not. Everyone would be toasted before the 1st commercial break.
Another MTV guilty pleasure: Laguna Beach. Teenage angst and drama and being so filthy rich you could solve the poverty crisis in several third world countries just by donating the proceeds from one of your many shopping trips. Who can't relate to that?
And finally a show that Chris and I actually watch together. Thats right we actually agree on something! No sumo style fights in the middle of the living room for the remote- this one we both like. Showtime's Dexter. This one is about a serial killer who was taught by his adopted dad who was a cop to channel his homicidal tendencies into something positive by bumping off other serial killers. The storylines for this one are awesome and Michael C. Hall as Dexter is brilliant.
And there you have it folks, my weekly TV schedule. And now I shall be off to bed!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
What to do, What to do.....
Not much has changed on the homework front. I started today well intentioned. I wanted to tackle it all bit by bit and get all caught up. I usually don't start the homework until a little before Chucky goes to bed or after he's already down. The big reason for this is during the week I pick him up a 5:30 and he goes to bed between 9:30 and 10:30 so this only gives me 4 or 5 hours with him every day and I want to spend as much time with him as possible.
The problem that I have been running into lately and what has contributed to my getting even farther behind is that my husband has no clue how to get Chucky to bed other than to scream at him to get back in bed when he gets out and to spank him when he doens't listen. Meanwhile, I'm in here trying to concentrate and all I can hear is hubby screaming "get in bed!" and then a few minutes later I'll hear "you don't want to listen? Okay! Spankings!", followed by the sound of Chucky being spanked and going "Ow OW OW". Well I can only take so much of this before I get completely fed up and tell Chris to get the hell out of Chucky's room. I go in there and either sing to him or tell him that "momma came in there to go night night with you" and I'll lay there with him and if he tries to get up I tell him "you have to be quiet buddy. Momma's trying to sleep". And guess what? Usually in about 15 -20 minutes he's out. The bad thing is that by then its 10:30 - 11 ish at night and by the time I get done putting him to bed I am completely drained and can't stay up much more than another hour working on the homework which makes me get farther and farther behind. Its a viscious cycle and I don't know what to do.
After I got him down tonight I went in there and told Chris that he had to find another way that worked for him to get Chucky to bed because the spanking his ass every five seconds until he finally conks out was not going to happen anymore. I am just sick of it. I told him the child is 2 damn years old. He's the adult and Chucky is the child and he needs to find something else that works because I am not going to put him to bed every night and sacrifice my time that I NEED for other things when he could be doing it just as well as I could. He tells me that the reason it works for me and it doesn't work for him is that Chucky sees me as the parent and him as the play thing so he doesn't listen to him. My whole take is too damn bad. Read some parenting books, call the Supernanny, take anger management or WHATEVER but he is no longer going to use spankings as a way to get Chucky to go to sleep.
I wonder if I am in the wrong here because probably about 50% of the fights we have I am and just won't admit it. Honestly, the more I have to deal with issues like these on top of everything else the more overwhelmed I get. I drift between two states most of the time. One of them is overwhelmed and the other one is hopelessness. This has got to change because I am at the point where I am just too worn out to funciton in either of those states anymore. Anway, enough of my bitch session. I have ALOT of homework to get to that I will probably never get done. TTFN.
The problem that I have been running into lately and what has contributed to my getting even farther behind is that my husband has no clue how to get Chucky to bed other than to scream at him to get back in bed when he gets out and to spank him when he doens't listen. Meanwhile, I'm in here trying to concentrate and all I can hear is hubby screaming "get in bed!" and then a few minutes later I'll hear "you don't want to listen? Okay! Spankings!", followed by the sound of Chucky being spanked and going "Ow OW OW". Well I can only take so much of this before I get completely fed up and tell Chris to get the hell out of Chucky's room. I go in there and either sing to him or tell him that "momma came in there to go night night with you" and I'll lay there with him and if he tries to get up I tell him "you have to be quiet buddy. Momma's trying to sleep". And guess what? Usually in about 15 -20 minutes he's out. The bad thing is that by then its 10:30 - 11 ish at night and by the time I get done putting him to bed I am completely drained and can't stay up much more than another hour working on the homework which makes me get farther and farther behind. Its a viscious cycle and I don't know what to do.
After I got him down tonight I went in there and told Chris that he had to find another way that worked for him to get Chucky to bed because the spanking his ass every five seconds until he finally conks out was not going to happen anymore. I am just sick of it. I told him the child is 2 damn years old. He's the adult and Chucky is the child and he needs to find something else that works because I am not going to put him to bed every night and sacrifice my time that I NEED for other things when he could be doing it just as well as I could. He tells me that the reason it works for me and it doesn't work for him is that Chucky sees me as the parent and him as the play thing so he doesn't listen to him. My whole take is too damn bad. Read some parenting books, call the Supernanny, take anger management or WHATEVER but he is no longer going to use spankings as a way to get Chucky to go to sleep.
I wonder if I am in the wrong here because probably about 50% of the fights we have I am and just won't admit it. Honestly, the more I have to deal with issues like these on top of everything else the more overwhelmed I get. I drift between two states most of the time. One of them is overwhelmed and the other one is hopelessness. This has got to change because I am at the point where I am just too worn out to funciton in either of those states anymore. Anway, enough of my bitch session. I have ALOT of homework to get to that I will probably never get done. TTFN.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Regina George is a fugly slut!
I have seen the movie Mean Girls quite a few times and though I am no fan of Lindsay Lohan I did think the movie was good. My high school experience was not as extreme as that movie was but there were definitely the cliques including a group I would consider the plastics. Its probably the same in every high school. There are the haves and have nots. In high school I was part of what were considered the have nots. We were the smart people that many people picked on because they thought we were eccentric in some way or because they were jealous of the grades.
In comparison to some of the other people in this nerd herd that I hung out with, I was actually one of the less academically inclined, although this was entirely my fault. In that respect in high school I was my own worst enemy, especially in senior year when I became involved with a guy that was four years older than me and had a two year old child. Everything went to hell for that entire year and I actually didn't go to school for 1/2 of my senior year. My dad had to meet with the principal and dean of students to work out a deal where I could graduate on time. Freshman, sophomore and junior year of high school I actually did pretty well.
Anyway, for some reason that I can't exactly pinpoint I don't remember high school all that fondly. Maybe its just because when I look back on the whole experience it forces me to confront what a MORON I was for that last year. I know why the whole thing happened. It was because of the two year old child that the boyfriend had. This kid grew very attached to me and I to him as well and his mom was like my mom and just dumped him off. I think I thought I could save him from that and I got way too involved to the point where it hurt me with school. Thankfully when I joined the Army while I was away at basic training the boyfriend showed his true colors and I dumped him before I took off to Korea on my first duty assignment.
Some other not so great things from high school: People in the "plastics" crowd trying to convince substitute teachers that they were my boyfriend as justification for why they were trying to copy off of my paper. I had one guy that was part of this group that I had Phys Ed with that would hit me in the ass with just about every piece of sports equipment we encountered-hockey sticks, badminton raquets, whatever. I remember someone else once ganging up on me because I jokingly called one of my friends gay and the dude harassed me for a week about it. Never mind the fact that the guy I jokingly called gay came out to us about 6 months later and we're still friends.
Also I think another thing that made high school not so great was that I hadn't really "blossomed" yet. I wasn't one of the stuck up prissy people that would get up at 5 am just to make sure I had enough time to cake on my makeup and curl my hair before school. I was one of those that put on whatever was clean, brushed my hair and teeth, put on a little makeup and went on my merry way. I didn't wear the in clothes and I didn't have to have the latest this or that. I was called ugly by some people. Strangely enough I kind of morphed while I was over in Korea and I had this awesome body and the majority thought I was really pretty. I was more into the makeup and clothes stuff than some of my friends but I still wasn't as in to it as some girls in my class. There were also the crushes that I drooled over that never would have happened in a million years. There was one guy that I had a crush on during freshman year that was one grade ahead of me and at that time he was just a big doofus but by the time he reached senior year he was pretty popular and as I said since I was a have not-er it wasn't ever going to happen. There were a few that I liked that maybe could have happened but I was too chicken to take any chances in high school. I only dated four guys in those four years . One was the older one and the other three were from different schools.
Some good things I remember: My school had awesome teachers, especially the foreign language teachers. There was also one english teacher that everyone hated and I absolutely loved her class. My friends were (and still are) awesome. We were a unique group of people and although during that time I wanted to be part of the in crowd like I think everyone wishes at some point, I would not have traded my group of friends for the world. They were some of the most creative, intelligent people I have met in my life. I remember picking up Krista and either Keith of Kevin and we would go to Pomona park and play risk and sometimes get chinese. One of these trips was when Kevin was awarded the name "secret eggroll man".
Anyway, I started this whole post by talking about the "plastics" at my school. There were only a few that were actually mean to me personally. The phys ed guy for one, and there was one girl who would point out how in her opinion my clothes didn't match and try to humiliate me in front of her little friends. What irked me too was that they sucked ALL the fun out of events like homecoming and prom because it was a popularity contest every time and the nominations were from the same group of people. Most of the people on homecoming and prom court I didn't like, although the girl that was elected prom queen was alright. She was someone I had known since 1st grade. They just seemed like they were the type of people that just came in the room and sucked all the oxygen out because they thought it was rightfully theirs or something. I know people have had high school experiences that were MUCH MUCH worse than mine, like our friend Lisa who we adopted into our group and felt really bad for because she was teased unmercifully by just about everyone in her grade. I just wonder if every school has a group of "plastics". I wonder if they do how long in life it takes the plastics to realize they don't matter anymore after high school and how long it takes the people who wish the plastics would get hit by a bus to realize that things will be different after high school?
As for me I'm glad I rolled with the nerd herd in high school because some of us have done great things with our lives and some of the plastics are now townies with dead end jobs.
In comparison to some of the other people in this nerd herd that I hung out with, I was actually one of the less academically inclined, although this was entirely my fault. In that respect in high school I was my own worst enemy, especially in senior year when I became involved with a guy that was four years older than me and had a two year old child. Everything went to hell for that entire year and I actually didn't go to school for 1/2 of my senior year. My dad had to meet with the principal and dean of students to work out a deal where I could graduate on time. Freshman, sophomore and junior year of high school I actually did pretty well.
Anyway, for some reason that I can't exactly pinpoint I don't remember high school all that fondly. Maybe its just because when I look back on the whole experience it forces me to confront what a MORON I was for that last year. I know why the whole thing happened. It was because of the two year old child that the boyfriend had. This kid grew very attached to me and I to him as well and his mom was like my mom and just dumped him off. I think I thought I could save him from that and I got way too involved to the point where it hurt me with school. Thankfully when I joined the Army while I was away at basic training the boyfriend showed his true colors and I dumped him before I took off to Korea on my first duty assignment.
Some other not so great things from high school: People in the "plastics" crowd trying to convince substitute teachers that they were my boyfriend as justification for why they were trying to copy off of my paper. I had one guy that was part of this group that I had Phys Ed with that would hit me in the ass with just about every piece of sports equipment we encountered-hockey sticks, badminton raquets, whatever. I remember someone else once ganging up on me because I jokingly called one of my friends gay and the dude harassed me for a week about it. Never mind the fact that the guy I jokingly called gay came out to us about 6 months later and we're still friends.
Also I think another thing that made high school not so great was that I hadn't really "blossomed" yet. I wasn't one of the stuck up prissy people that would get up at 5 am just to make sure I had enough time to cake on my makeup and curl my hair before school. I was one of those that put on whatever was clean, brushed my hair and teeth, put on a little makeup and went on my merry way. I didn't wear the in clothes and I didn't have to have the latest this or that. I was called ugly by some people. Strangely enough I kind of morphed while I was over in Korea and I had this awesome body and the majority thought I was really pretty. I was more into the makeup and clothes stuff than some of my friends but I still wasn't as in to it as some girls in my class. There were also the crushes that I drooled over that never would have happened in a million years. There was one guy that I had a crush on during freshman year that was one grade ahead of me and at that time he was just a big doofus but by the time he reached senior year he was pretty popular and as I said since I was a have not-er it wasn't ever going to happen. There were a few that I liked that maybe could have happened but I was too chicken to take any chances in high school. I only dated four guys in those four years . One was the older one and the other three were from different schools.
Some good things I remember: My school had awesome teachers, especially the foreign language teachers. There was also one english teacher that everyone hated and I absolutely loved her class. My friends were (and still are) awesome. We were a unique group of people and although during that time I wanted to be part of the in crowd like I think everyone wishes at some point, I would not have traded my group of friends for the world. They were some of the most creative, intelligent people I have met in my life. I remember picking up Krista and either Keith of Kevin and we would go to Pomona park and play risk and sometimes get chinese. One of these trips was when Kevin was awarded the name "secret eggroll man".
Anyway, I started this whole post by talking about the "plastics" at my school. There were only a few that were actually mean to me personally. The phys ed guy for one, and there was one girl who would point out how in her opinion my clothes didn't match and try to humiliate me in front of her little friends. What irked me too was that they sucked ALL the fun out of events like homecoming and prom because it was a popularity contest every time and the nominations were from the same group of people. Most of the people on homecoming and prom court I didn't like, although the girl that was elected prom queen was alright. She was someone I had known since 1st grade. They just seemed like they were the type of people that just came in the room and sucked all the oxygen out because they thought it was rightfully theirs or something. I know people have had high school experiences that were MUCH MUCH worse than mine, like our friend Lisa who we adopted into our group and felt really bad for because she was teased unmercifully by just about everyone in her grade. I just wonder if every school has a group of "plastics". I wonder if they do how long in life it takes the plastics to realize they don't matter anymore after high school and how long it takes the people who wish the plastics would get hit by a bus to realize that things will be different after high school?
As for me I'm glad I rolled with the nerd herd in high school because some of us have done great things with our lives and some of the plastics are now townies with dead end jobs.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Everyday is a Winding Road
Another day where I have accomplished everything at work that I needed to 3 hrs before I'm set to go home. Yay for me!
I am still feeling overwhelmed by school and I am still behind but I am hoping to remedy that tonight. I go to school entirely online. I know there are some naysayers out there who say an online education is not worth the paper its written on and that many times what you learn is self taught- you know, read the text do the questions/paper/test. That part is true to some extent but when I was in the Army I did try the traditional classroom environment and ya know what? I absolutely frickin' hated it. The teacher was great, the class was something I was interested in (English) but I ended up pulling a B in a class I could have easily gotten an A in. For some reason I get really fidgety and distracted sitting in a classroom whereas online since I can do it on my own time every day and I feel like I'm still getting the feedback I need from the class and the instructor. Also since I've returned from Iraq I have some serious anxiety issues when dealing with crowds of people. Its just not something I would enjoy having to deal with. I don't think I'm missing anything by not going to a "normal" college. The only thing that concerns me about my choice of college is that even though it is accredited, with certain colleges (like GVSU) many of the credits I earn at Baker will not transfer there.
Another thing that I've come to realize in the past year or so is that I don't know if I really even want to stay in the clerical/human resources field. True, I make decent money but I don't know if its really what I want to do. With my 25th birthday just around the corner you'd think I would have made big decisions like "what I want to be when I grow up" by now but I'm just not sure if I'm heading in the right direction. I'm hoping this will be my year to make significant improvements in many aspects of my life and hopefully I'll be heading into 2008 a little more sure of things.
I have several ideas for what I might like to do but I'm not sure if any of those is right for me either. One of those is to finish out my bachelor's degree and apply for a direct commission into the US Army Reserves as an officer. This is a new thing they've come out with because they are short on officers in the reserves. Going this route I would not have to go to OCS. All that is required is that I have a bachelor's degree and that I attend the Officer Basic Course for whatever branch i go into. It has its pros and cons. The pros are that officers make good money in the military and if I was only a reservist I could quit my full time job and go to working part time somewhere because the money I would be making as an officer would more than make up for what i would lose by not working full time. The drawbacks to this plan would be that I could be moved to a unit that was far away from where I wanted to be and the big one that I fear more than anything is that I would be deployed again. I honestly don't know if I could handle another deployment. The first one did a lot of damage, not physically, but I am just not the same anymore. I think I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or at least some kind of anxiety disorder from the year I spent over there. Things are just not the same for me anymore. Its strange too because its not like I saw anything absolutely horrific over there, no charred bodies, I wasn't attacked by the enemy or anything like that but just the experience as a whole has left me changed. I used to be fine flying and now it scares the crap out of me. I freak out when I ride in a vehicle and other people are driving. I sometimes get the urge to cry for no reason and I get really freaked out dealing with lots of people now. Its almost like I can't be in situations where I don't have complete control. I used to love going shopping at the mall and now I just get extremely irritated and stressed out every time I go. It also feels like I am detached from my life, if that makes any sense. Life is foggy for me and I am not nearly as emotional as I used to be. My dad and my sister say I should go see the VA and get some help but I haven't convinced myself that I need to go that route yet. I keep thinking that maybe if I eliminate the other stressors in my life that it will make the issues that I have left over from the war better.
Anyway, I have also considered continuing on with school for a second bachelor's degree. I was thinking psychology but the field doesn't really open up until you have your masters. At least I would have something to fall back on in case I did decide to not do human resources mgmt. I thought about a master's degree but then I would have to stay in the business field and I don't know if I want to do that either. What I really want to do more than anything is to be able to work part time at Barnes and Noble and spend the rest of my time with Chucky. Not the biggest goal in the world but all I really want is more time with my son. He'll be able to start preschool this coming fall which really means that I'll only have two more years before he's in school full time and I'll have lost the opportunity to spend all day with him. Kids are really great at this age. On a good note, he loves his new daycare. He is genuinely excited to go there which makes me happy. It partially alleviates the guilt of having my kid spend most of his waking hours with someone else.
I asked Chris today if he would be interested in getting a membership to the Y in Grand Haven. He seemed interested until I told him that it would be $83 a month for a family membership. Now this does not seem that much to me because when you break it down weekly thats a little over $20 for all three of us to go there. Thats $990 annually. I thought it would be good for all of us because they have all kinds of programs for little kids that we could involve Chucky in and Chris and I really need to lose about 40 lbs a piece and get back into shape BUT HE SAID NO. To him that was too much money. Then he went blathering on about how we should use the money I want to spend on the Y to fix the electrical in our house instead. It does need to be fixed along with a myriad of other things but I thought it would be nice to sign up for the Y and get us out of the house. Apparently fixing things in our house which could be fixed anytime in the next 50 years since we will be living there until doomsday takes priority. Our house is an older home (it was built in 1964) and when we were getting ready to leave ft. campbell for good I had to come up to MI househunting by myself because Chris' unit would not let him have the time off to come with me. So I ended up looking at 10 houses over the course of 4 days and I picked ours out. Now I was only able to go through the house twice, and it was brief both times, and everything looked fine then. By the time we had it inspected I was back in KY and my dad went through with the inspector. He said a few things might need to be fixed down the line but everything looked good. Well here it is 18 months later and the house needs the electrical redone because the guy that lived there before us rigged everything so its not grounded right, and the house is still running on fuses (we go through tons of lightbulbs because our electrical is messed up). My brother who is an electrical engineer said he had no clue how the house passed the inspection of the electrical because it is seriously FUBARed. Also the house needs a new roof, and new windows(we pay a sky high electric bill because of the drafty windows) and appliance wise we've replaced the washer, dryer, and dishwasher and we're also in need of a new fridge and stove.
In hindsight maybe we should have rented an apartment for the six months when we moved back this way and took our time looking-too late now. Love the house but don't love all the work and MONEY we'll be putting into it. Maybe once Chris makes his next grade at work and he's pulling in more $$$ it won't be so bad.
Life could be much worse. I could still be stuck in Iraq......
I am still feeling overwhelmed by school and I am still behind but I am hoping to remedy that tonight. I go to school entirely online. I know there are some naysayers out there who say an online education is not worth the paper its written on and that many times what you learn is self taught- you know, read the text do the questions/paper/test. That part is true to some extent but when I was in the Army I did try the traditional classroom environment and ya know what? I absolutely frickin' hated it. The teacher was great, the class was something I was interested in (English) but I ended up pulling a B in a class I could have easily gotten an A in. For some reason I get really fidgety and distracted sitting in a classroom whereas online since I can do it on my own time every day and I feel like I'm still getting the feedback I need from the class and the instructor. Also since I've returned from Iraq I have some serious anxiety issues when dealing with crowds of people. Its just not something I would enjoy having to deal with. I don't think I'm missing anything by not going to a "normal" college. The only thing that concerns me about my choice of college is that even though it is accredited, with certain colleges (like GVSU) many of the credits I earn at Baker will not transfer there.
Another thing that I've come to realize in the past year or so is that I don't know if I really even want to stay in the clerical/human resources field. True, I make decent money but I don't know if its really what I want to do. With my 25th birthday just around the corner you'd think I would have made big decisions like "what I want to be when I grow up" by now but I'm just not sure if I'm heading in the right direction. I'm hoping this will be my year to make significant improvements in many aspects of my life and hopefully I'll be heading into 2008 a little more sure of things.
I have several ideas for what I might like to do but I'm not sure if any of those is right for me either. One of those is to finish out my bachelor's degree and apply for a direct commission into the US Army Reserves as an officer. This is a new thing they've come out with because they are short on officers in the reserves. Going this route I would not have to go to OCS. All that is required is that I have a bachelor's degree and that I attend the Officer Basic Course for whatever branch i go into. It has its pros and cons. The pros are that officers make good money in the military and if I was only a reservist I could quit my full time job and go to working part time somewhere because the money I would be making as an officer would more than make up for what i would lose by not working full time. The drawbacks to this plan would be that I could be moved to a unit that was far away from where I wanted to be and the big one that I fear more than anything is that I would be deployed again. I honestly don't know if I could handle another deployment. The first one did a lot of damage, not physically, but I am just not the same anymore. I think I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or at least some kind of anxiety disorder from the year I spent over there. Things are just not the same for me anymore. Its strange too because its not like I saw anything absolutely horrific over there, no charred bodies, I wasn't attacked by the enemy or anything like that but just the experience as a whole has left me changed. I used to be fine flying and now it scares the crap out of me. I freak out when I ride in a vehicle and other people are driving. I sometimes get the urge to cry for no reason and I get really freaked out dealing with lots of people now. Its almost like I can't be in situations where I don't have complete control. I used to love going shopping at the mall and now I just get extremely irritated and stressed out every time I go. It also feels like I am detached from my life, if that makes any sense. Life is foggy for me and I am not nearly as emotional as I used to be. My dad and my sister say I should go see the VA and get some help but I haven't convinced myself that I need to go that route yet. I keep thinking that maybe if I eliminate the other stressors in my life that it will make the issues that I have left over from the war better.
Anyway, I have also considered continuing on with school for a second bachelor's degree. I was thinking psychology but the field doesn't really open up until you have your masters. At least I would have something to fall back on in case I did decide to not do human resources mgmt. I thought about a master's degree but then I would have to stay in the business field and I don't know if I want to do that either. What I really want to do more than anything is to be able to work part time at Barnes and Noble and spend the rest of my time with Chucky. Not the biggest goal in the world but all I really want is more time with my son. He'll be able to start preschool this coming fall which really means that I'll only have two more years before he's in school full time and I'll have lost the opportunity to spend all day with him. Kids are really great at this age. On a good note, he loves his new daycare. He is genuinely excited to go there which makes me happy. It partially alleviates the guilt of having my kid spend most of his waking hours with someone else.
I asked Chris today if he would be interested in getting a membership to the Y in Grand Haven. He seemed interested until I told him that it would be $83 a month for a family membership. Now this does not seem that much to me because when you break it down weekly thats a little over $20 for all three of us to go there. Thats $990 annually. I thought it would be good for all of us because they have all kinds of programs for little kids that we could involve Chucky in and Chris and I really need to lose about 40 lbs a piece and get back into shape BUT HE SAID NO. To him that was too much money. Then he went blathering on about how we should use the money I want to spend on the Y to fix the electrical in our house instead. It does need to be fixed along with a myriad of other things but I thought it would be nice to sign up for the Y and get us out of the house. Apparently fixing things in our house which could be fixed anytime in the next 50 years since we will be living there until doomsday takes priority. Our house is an older home (it was built in 1964) and when we were getting ready to leave ft. campbell for good I had to come up to MI househunting by myself because Chris' unit would not let him have the time off to come with me. So I ended up looking at 10 houses over the course of 4 days and I picked ours out. Now I was only able to go through the house twice, and it was brief both times, and everything looked fine then. By the time we had it inspected I was back in KY and my dad went through with the inspector. He said a few things might need to be fixed down the line but everything looked good. Well here it is 18 months later and the house needs the electrical redone because the guy that lived there before us rigged everything so its not grounded right, and the house is still running on fuses (we go through tons of lightbulbs because our electrical is messed up). My brother who is an electrical engineer said he had no clue how the house passed the inspection of the electrical because it is seriously FUBARed. Also the house needs a new roof, and new windows(we pay a sky high electric bill because of the drafty windows) and appliance wise we've replaced the washer, dryer, and dishwasher and we're also in need of a new fridge and stove.
In hindsight maybe we should have rented an apartment for the six months when we moved back this way and took our time looking-too late now. Love the house but don't love all the work and MONEY we'll be putting into it. Maybe once Chris makes his next grade at work and he's pulling in more $$$ it won't be so bad.
Life could be much worse. I could still be stuck in Iraq......
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