First I'd like to start this post by saying that I thought this pic of Krista rocking out to White and Nerdy with the Spock picture was freakin' awesome. That made me smile in a week that has been less than stellar. It just has not been a good week, not that anything has gone majorly wrong but its just a bunch of little things combined that have made for a pretty craptacular week.
Saturday Chris and I took Chucky to his first circus (that would be the Shrine Circus that comes to the LC Walker Arena in Muskegon every year because I am too damn cheap to pay $28 per ticket to go see Barnum & Bailey's). The show itself was alright and Chucky really liked it although some of the noise scared him. I took us all to the circus on the money that was sent to me for my birthday figuring I'd be nice and it would only be $21 so no big deal. Well we decided to let Chucky ride a few of the animals there which you needed tickets for. I figured no big deal, we would buy him a couple of tickets because it couldn't be that much. Well I made the mistake of handing Chris all of my birthday money and he went to buy the tickets. Well he didn't bother to ask where the money came from so he bought Chucky 4 tix at $6 each out of MY BIRTHDAY $$$. When I told him he just spent half the money I got for my birthday he goes "oh i thought you pulled that from the account" I'm thinking fool, when do we ever have money like that in our bank account to just pull out? So my birthday present this year was taking Chucky to a mediocre circus. Now it would have been a great family outing except for one thing (and if you don't consider yourself a patriot, then maybe this is where you should stop reading..). Before the show started they had us all get up, face the flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance. While everyone is reciting the pledge the stupid bastard behind me, instead of saying the correct words is making comments to the effect of "and to the republic which doesn't like black men, one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all black men" WTF?? Now if there is one way to piss me off to the point where I will turn around and punch you in your ugly ass face, its to be disrespectful while singing the National Anthem or saying the Pledge. Freedom of speech! you say. He should be able to say whatever he wants! Um no he shouldn't. I am a former Soldier of the United States Army. I went to war for this country with some good people who unfortunately did not make it back for your right to sit there and say some ignorant ass shit like you did while saying the pledge so you could impress your girlfriend who looked like someone took the biggest pig on the farm they could find, the ghetto-est creature they could find, and the cream of the trailer park trash crop and fused them together to make her. I hope it was worth it to you to completely disrespect all of the people who have fought for this country in the past and all of the people that are over there with their asses on the line now so you could get a few laughs out of swamp thing. And by the way, thanks for letting your bratty ass little crumbsnatcher kick my seat for the entire show. So with that being said, let everyone be forewarned that you do not want to sit next to me at a football game, circus, wrestling show or anywhere else where they will play the National Anthem or recite the Pledge and say anything but the words that are supposed to be said because I am the crazy ass bitch with PTSD from the war that will stalk your ass and run you down in the parking lot for that type of disrespect. This goes for all flag burners, people who won't shut the fuck up when the National Anthem is being played and the people who won't remove their hats either. This is America baby. You say its your right to say what you want when it comes to the flag and the pledge and the anthem? I say its my right to knock your teeth down your throat in response. You don't like that then move your ass to Canada. Okay I'm done now.
On to the rest of my week. I'm still really tired and I had planned on going to sleep early tonight but it just didn't happen as usual. Chris did not get home tonight until 9pm and Chucky fell asleep waiting for him to get home. I have been doing relatively well in my math class until monday when a project that was worth 10 pts was due and I had it done in time but you're required to post it to two different places and I only posted it to one so I get no points even though I did all the work and I can prove that I did have it done on time. The teacher I have for this class is good but she is a REALLY strict grader which makes the class more difficult. I emailed her and explained my mistake and she said she couldn't give me any points on it because it wouldn't be fair to other students who had made the same mistake. So apparently we're not allowed stupid human errors every once in awhile. On top of that we're moving from the office we currently occupy at work to the one right next door which is bigger. They have been getting the new office ready for us for the past two days and they have been painting in there. Since my desk is right by the door of our current office I have been smelling paint fumes and coming home with monster headaches and a sour stomach for the past two days from the smell. They won't open doors or windows to ventilate because it is balls cold outside and would make the whole building cold. Because of said monstrous headache yesterday I came home yesterday feeling like crap, fell asleep to try to get rid of the headache, didn't wake up til right before 11 pm and didn't have time to finish my math test and turn it in. Since she accepts no late assignments at all I also missed the 10 points for the test this week. So I went from an A in the class to a B if I'm lucky by not getting credit for the one assignment and missing the other one. At least the other class is going okay. I think I'll end up with an A- in that one. I just have to come up with my paper topic in the next couple of days and I have no idea what I want to write a seven page paper on.
Also adding to my week of misery was the fact that my husband forgot to put our pug in his cage before he went to work yesterday so the dumb little mutt had free run of the house until my dad got there to let him out 5 hours later and he peed and pooped all over our house. I didn't find the last pile until I went to put Chucky to bed that night and stepped in it WITH BARE FEET.
Lately too what has added to my feeling down is that sometimes I get the feeling that concerning our life here I'm in the fight alone because I don't get the support I need from Chris. He works full time and I work full time. Granted I work set hours and he works shitty hours but when he gets home its a fight to the death to get him to help me with Chucky. He argues me to death about how he shouldn't have to wash him up when he's in the tub or change his diaper or put him to bed because he just got home and wants to relax. I point out to him that when I got home I didn't get to relax because I had to take care of Chucky. He also argues with me CONSTANTLY about cleaning the house. Every day he says he'll clean the kitchen up before he leaves in the morning and every night when I get home the kitchen is still in a huge mess and the rest of the house is exactly like it was when I left. He thinks cleaning it up really good one day on the weekend is good enough. I can't stand having a dirty house. He argues with me over whose turn it is to make dinner. We're supposed to be taking turns but there are some nights where he just goes "I'm not making dinner" and he expects me to make Chucky's dinner and find something for myself. Also he has no involvement in paying our bills. I take care of all of our finances. I have often thought of handing the financial reigns over to him just so he can see how stressful it is to have to budget and pay the bills but if I did this even for a short period I have this fear that our bills would go unpaid and we would be in financial ruin in no time. Its never a good feeling to feel unsupported by your partner. When we are not fighting and we are getting along its great but sometimes I just get so damn sick of feeling like the relationship is lopsided and the pressure is on me. Maybe its the depression and PTSD thats making me feel this way, I don't know but I hate it and I wish we could change it but it takes two people to make a change and I think both of us are too stubborn to budge.
Well if this post hasn't been all over the place. I have even more to write but I also need to go to bed. You know, that work thing in the morning......
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