Finally a post....

I finally decided to post something after being told several times that I really needed to get a blog. Part of me wanting to post is that I used to keep a normal journal which I wrote in at least once a week from 7th grade until about 2 years ago. I managed to fill up three volumes going that route. I kind of miss having that kind of outlet for my thoughts because now I just don't have time to keep a journal. I also decided to do this becuase I think it will help people keep track of me and because I get bored at work sometimes and this will fill the space. So there you have it-the reason I finally decided to blog. To anyone who may actually read this, I apologize for the randomness of my thoughts, but anyone who has ever received any kind of written communciation from me will tell you that's how I have always been. Also I don't apologize for being boring because I did not put a gun to your head and force you to read this. :)

Right now I am sitting at my desk with nothing to do and while I should be doing my developmental psychology homework I am avoiding it like the plague. This class is for my Bachelors in Human Resource Management. I have one more thing to do for my Associates in General Business which is write a paper to meet the Work Experience Requirement and I will be done. I've been putting this off for almost a year now. Sad, I know but its just not something that I'm interested in doing at all right now even though I keep getting emails from the college saying if I don't complete it they will have to move my graduation date. I really don't care if they move it or not because I decided I wasn't going to leave this job for greener pastures until I was done with my bachelors. Anyway, I should just do the stupid paper and get it over with and I should just do my pschology homework (which I am about a few assignments behind on) instead of doing this. The problem is that within the last six months or so I have just been going through the motions with my classes because I am burnt out with doing them. I have been doing classes nonstop since february of 2005 and no matter what the subject matter it just gets tedious after awhile. Still, I want to finish the degree as soon as possible so plug away I will.

I am also fighting the urge to call the daycare and check on Chucky (he's a little redhead like his momma and this is what we call him when he's being bad, like the Chucky doll from the movies). This is his first day at his new daycare and I'm sure he's fine but I still kind of want to check on him anyway. When I dropped him off and told him I had to go it didn't seem like it bothered him too much. He just said "Ok bye momma" and that was it. Its kind of disturbing to me that he is so used to being dropped off somewhere that it doesn't even bother him anymore but I guess its better than him screaming and clinging to me and not letting me out the door for an hour. Ideally we would be in a financial situation where I could at least go down to working part time and be home with him more but unfortunately that isn't the case. Maybe someday.

We aren't in bad financial straights at all and we don't live beyond our means but we are still paycheck to paycheck and I hate that. I just paid off all of our credit card debt with an inheritance I got from my grandfather. We still have other stuff we're paying on though and we don't have that comfortable cushion in case something goes wrong. If something went wrong we would be screwed because we'd have to put if on our credit cards and then we'd have to dig ourselves out of that again. I grew up watching my dad do the credit card shuffle to keep us afloat and I promised myself I would never get like that and so far we've been pretty good about it but last year we just had very very bad luck and now we're trying to improve things. There are four main things I would like to do this year:

1- increase the contribution to Chucky's 529 plan. It is so disheartening when you use the calculator on the misaves.com site to figure out how short you're going to be on paying for your child's entire education because at the rate we're going right now we'll only be able to pay for his first 1.5 years of college. I DO NOT want my child to consider going in the military to put himself through college. I'm using my GI bill to go now but I don't want him to think thats the only option he has and I don't want recruiters beating on my door using that line on him to get him to sign up. Don't get me wrong. I fully support the military as a career but if he does go that route I want him to go because its what he really wants to do in life, not because he's in debt up to his eyeballs in student loans and he sees no other option.

2- start 401 k's and and IRAs for me and the hubby. He just turned 25 and I turn 25 next month and I don't want to be old and relying on my kids to support me because I wasn't responsible enough to save for my own retirement when I had the chance.

3- This year I WILL lose 40 lbs and 20 of those will be by April 1st. Lofty goal, yes but I know I will feel so much better about myself if I lose it. I don't have to be as small as I used to be ( a whopping 100 lbs when I came back from Iraq) but my self esteem has taken a severe beating since I had Chucky and made the idiotic mistake of taking the depo shot which made me gain 50 lbs. The problem here is I am not an exercise junky and I have yet to stumble on a routine that I am comfortable with. I've tried Taebo and I do it occasionally but I think I need something a little slower paced to start off with. I'm considering just walking with my dogs every day and see if that will help. The only problem is as with everything, I have next to no time to do it and since my husband works craptacular hours it is hard to fit it into my schedule. I am eating right for the most part so its just getting an exercise routine that I like.

4-Get in touch with all my old friends and restrengthen those bonds. I miss all of you and I was really hoping we could all get together this summer sometime but a few things are standing in the way: one of us is going overseas, one of us is having trouble forgiving another for something that happened in the past, one of us is really hard to get ahold of, one of us lives outside of the state and all of us are on a budget. Still I'm going to find some way to do it.

And now after having nothing to do for two hours, work beckons. Til next time.............